My friend, she's retarded

"Oh goodness, the way he put me down like that completely lowered my self-esteem and made me 100% more likely to go out with him!" swoon

Really? You pulled out the "you're beautiful" card just to get a slushee? "Beautiful" is what you say when you've dented the family car; when you want a slushee you say "those shoes are adorable, they look great on you!" Or something.