When you open your eyes, you'll find out that you in fact didn't teleport, and instead walked seventeen miles home through that really shady part of town with your eyes closed the whole time.
Just wait until everything stops sparkling and the rainbows fade a bit, then I'll definitely have it.
You're about to have a hell of a time explaining yourself to your in-laws later on. You can tell them either A) I'm tripping on LSD because of toilet paper, or B) STAY AWAY FROM THE RAINBOW DRAGON IT'S GOING TO EAT YOUR KOALA. The choice is yours.
"Aww man, I'm about to get hammered! The bad kind of hammered!"
Upside? I can see time. Cool!
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