I've heard of farmer's tans, but construction worker's tans? That's new.

Got any tape? Yup. That'll hold it.

Meet a man sure to go down in the Kludging Hall of Fame. In 1993, Emile Leray, a French electrician, was driving through the Moroccan desert when his Citroën car broke down.

Stranded in the desert, and far out of walking distance of civilization, Leray pulled up his bootstraps, made a small offering prayer to MacGyver (allegedly), and proceeded to disassemble his trashed car and reassemble the parts into a fully functional motorcycle.

Leray is quoted as saying:

"I put myself in what one calls survival mode. I could not have gone back on foot - it was too far."

Survival mode paid off big-time, as Leray successfully rode his new motorcycle back to civilization, and out of the clutches of very painful and unfortunate death in the desert. In the end, he journeyed over 20 miles, which may not seem like much, but let me reiterate: try walking 20 miles in the scorching north African desert heat.

Despite making his journey 19 years ago in 1993, he has only recently begun telling his story to the press. Now that is a TIFI WIN of monumental proportions.

Fill up a trash can with ice, put beers in, cover with plastic bag, place on A/C. Presto! Science!

Yo dawg, we herd u liek going, so we put a portapotty on your scooter so you can go while you go!

What more do you want? ...Fine, I'll try harder next year.

Maybe he just needs to take off the freshness seal. ~Not-So-Handy Andy