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Babysitter "Help Wanted" Ad Is Absolute Insanity

Shoutout to the folks at The Chive for discovering the goldmine of ridiculous human behavior that runs rife throughout this "help wanted" ad for a babysitter. Twitter user @honeystaysuper, unearthed just the kind of "help wanted" ad that leaves the rest of the world speechless. I don't even know where to start with this one. The attention to detail is honestly admirable. Nothing seems to be overlooked in terms of what constitutes a suitable babysitter. 

A "help wanted" ad for a babysitter is ridiculous with its extensive list of demands | tweet byKimberly Harrington @honeystaysuper Look know day is and where l'm posting this but still challenge find ANYTHING more bananas bat shit than THIS DARE. Assist 10-year old's with light homework long division, subtraction and writing. Play math games with them such as much fish should buy today five us and long will take us drive snow if 's 150 miles and go 50 miles an hour
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Irrational Reasons Toddlers Had Total Meltdowns

There are no limits to what warrants a hysterical breakdown from a toddler. Rationality in the mind of a toddler is a terribly fleeting thing. We can't verify whether these captions are accurate depictions of what brought on the waterworks, but we'd bet they're not too far off the mark. 

Irrational reasons that toddlers had total breakdowns | small kids children scream crying meltdowns Sean said word green. Won't let her throw books at my face.
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The World's Most Clueless Quora Users

We're back at it again with a fresh collection of absolutely clueless and misguided questions from some of Quora's most hopelessly lost souls.These people are in dire need of an instruction manual for life. It'd appear they're nowhere close to possessing normal levels of common sense. 

A collection of funny and ridiculous insights from various people on Quora | Is unfair kick child out house on their 18th birthday, providing they've been warned advance even if their graduation is months off?
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Advice From Parents That Was Total BS

Someone on AskReddit asked for people to describe those tidbits of advice that they received from parents that ended up being total BS. While the advice from some of these parents might have been crafted with good (but deceptive...) intentions, the kids definitely went on to grow up into adults that saw it for what it was. Just a load of BS!

A collection of AskReddit replies to various pieces of advice from parents that ended up being total BS | Don't waste too much time on computer becomes full time software developer. computer screen through glasses.
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Exhausted Parent Accidentally Sleep Trains Whole Family

We'd bet that a lot of parents out there are bound to relate to this hilariously wholesome accident. Apparently the whole family ended up getting accidentally "sleeptrained" by a strangely adorable little stuffed worm toy thing. Whatever works, I guess. 

Sleepy parent accidentally sleep trains the whole family with a cute stuffed worm toy | TIFU by sleeptraining whole family On mobile, sorry, etc. This has been building up 3 weeks, but only just realized last night had baby almost 4 months ago. Unlike wild animals come out walking, human babies are born useless and must teach them do basic survival tasks like eating and sleeping.
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The Dumbest Things People Thought As Kids

Someone on AskReddit asked for people to share the dumbest things that they believed as kids. It's amazing what kinds of nonsense we can will ourselves into believing, when we're kids and just trying to figure the world out. 

A collection of AskReddit replies to the dumbest things people believed as kids | posted by mtulitu used believe night is brought about by clouds dark ones course. Never felt need clarify this with anybody an obvious fact
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Parents With Identical Twins That Accidentally Switched The Kids

Someone on AskReddit asked for parents that accidentally switched their kids to share their experiences. Can't imagine the kind of embarrassing panic that must've ensued after these discoveries. 

Parents with identical twins share their experiences with accidentally switching the kids | posted by unnaturalorder Since this is fun question hasn't gotten many responses will say knew set identical triplets highschool who'd sometimes go into one another's classes and mess with people. Made fun April Fool's day joke.
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Dad Memes for the Dads Out There

If you're a dad, know a dad, or have even seen a dad these will resonate with extra fatherly dad-ishness. Here are some dad memes to keep those dads going through these dark times. There's just a lot of rad dad memes to achieve dad dreams.

parenting memes, funny jokes and tweets | I thought my 6 year old smuggling pipe into school s just kazoo, either way he's grounded. wooden box with a golden kazoo.
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Parent Forgets What Day It Is, Thinks Kid Got Taken

This parent had a rough night of sleep, and proceeded to fall into such a mental fog that they forgot what day it was, and literally forget that their kid was at school. The pure panic that they must've endured upon waking up from that deep slumber, and assuming that their kid had been taken must've been the stuff of nightmares. 

Parent falls asleep and forgets what day it is, and proceeds to think that their kid got kidnapped | r/tifu posted by Crazycatdood TIFU by falling asleep on job and forgetting day is BACKSTORY have mild insomnia, falling asleep isn't hard 's STAYING asleep escapes So flash brilliance on my part decided drink some ZzzQuil because 3 am and might
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Woman Hilariously Mocks Mom Facebook Groups

This woman's intentionally absurd post about how ridiculous mom Facebook groups can get, is making waves online. It's no wonder. Mom Facebook groups have a knack for spewing out all kinds of ridiculousness. 

Mom teases crazy mom Facebook groups with a ridiculous post | So accurate Why OH WHY do insist on staying mom groups on Facebook s like train wreck can't quite look away
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Kid Secretly Learns German, Gets Concussion, Speaks German To Confused Parents

Who'd have thought that learning German in secret could end up inspiring such hilarious results. Apparently, this kid had learned German and the parents had no idea. That is until the kid got a concussion, and ended up speaking German to a couple very surprised and confused parents. They must've been thinking that the kid was some sort of spy.

Kid learns German secretly, and ends up speaking German to parents after getting a concussion | r/tifu posted by ParrotSTD TIFU by secretly learning German recommend not doing this. As funny as found she didn't while back decided wanted learn second language. Germany's pretty close so German My family's super small and also far away, and never bothered tell them learning German.
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Son Says He Hears Bees At Night, Parents Don't Believe Him, Stinging Ensues

The truth stings! This parent lived to regret not listening to their kid's warning cries about hearing a bunch of sketchy buzzing from the attic. Fast forward to the dreadful experience of getting stung by hundreds of bees, and you've got one very painful lesson in the making. 

Son says that he hears bees at night, and the parents doubt him. They end up getting stung by hundreds from the attic | r/tifu posted by dudecheckthis TIFU by not believing my son heard bees Some really liked my FU about strip club with kids, so thought share another! Could probably have whole dad series, though not sure should brag about
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Moments That Show How Kids Are Dumb Little Wierdos

Kids may be learning still, but that doesn't mean the things they do aren't strange and idiotic. Kids are weird and dumb. That's just how they're gonna be, and you can't do much about it. I mean, you can help them learn from their mistakes or whatever, but you can also laugh at kids for being stupid and weird.

Funny kids being stupid and weird | Trev97 just remembered got my first dog 7 and he 1 (7 dog years) and cried he turned 2 because didnt think 14 year old dog would wanna hangout with
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Kid Gets Lightsaber For Christmas, Goes To The Dark Side Instantly

This dad decided to share a hilarious, dark-humored video of his son seemingly converting to the "Dark Side" in a matter of 10 seconds. I mean, seriously. That kid must've held onto the lightsaber for 10 seconds before he made up his mind on going to the dark side. 

Dad's son commits to the dark side after getting a lightsaber very quickly | child holding a red lightsaber toy in his hand, in the next frame he's attacking his mother with it
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