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Twitter Thread: Daring Cat Eats Magical Cookie, Adventure Ensues

Man, you never want to underestimate the power of an enhanced magical cookie. This cat was certainly in for a wakeup call when they decided to play around with the magical cookie. We're just glad that everything worked out and that the adventurous cat is okay. 

A cat eats a magical cookie, and then pure ridiculousness ensues | Carmine Deville @Carmine_Devi. 14h Replying Carmine_Deville Firstly wanna preface this by saying she's fine, because this cat is an indestructible Dumpster Demon TM with stomach steel. Her father raccoon and her mother ate and shat nails. She'd fight god half stale bagel and win. Carmine Deville @Carmine_Devi 14h Secondly, this is on because fully aware both my garbage monsters would eat entire actual trash can and all its
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Twitter Thread: Cheesecake Factory is A World of Contradictions

Anyone can tell you that The Cheesecake Factory is a building full of paradoxes. It's like it's telling you with all its heart that it wants to be fancy with all the lighting and the columns, and then you sit down and drink out of a plastic cup. Cheesecake is great, but the place itself really makes you think "how does this place still exist?" Maybe it fits the bill of "a place people can agree to go to." @MaxKreigerVG got extremely deep about America's gaudiest Cheesecake vendor.

Twitter thread on weirdness of The Cheesecake Factory | max sledroom @MaxKrie If want fully immersive "postmodern design hellscape" themed dining experience highly recommend dinner at Cheesecake Factory design perspective place is fuckin wild and talk little bit about why | max sledroom @Max 12h v interior is world aesthetic chaos feels like mix between Fry's Electronics, an overgrown Panera, and laser tag arena s sensational Palm trees sit aside 2000's-chic glass lighting fixtures, French limes
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Funny Tweets to Put Some Skip in That Step

In a way, Twitter is like wandering through a hurricane of people's fears, complaints, and quirky observations. Will it be a dissertation on how hard it is to be a mom or will it be a terrific caption for a new dead giant squid someone found? Who knows. This and more can be found in many sick tweets from the twitter-verse.

stupid and funny joke tweets | 17 Discount Emma Stone Retweeted jon drake @DrakeGatsby 000 's my Roomba's birthday so l'm bringing him beach and just gonna let him go crazy 9:01 AM Nov 15, 2020 Twitter iPhone
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Sick Tweets from the Twitter-verse

Scrolling through Twitter can feel a lot like whipping through the chaotic, disorganized thoughts of a raving madman. That said, quite a few of those thoughts are kind of awesome. Sometimes it's time to say "so long" to focus and embrace the chaos of funny tweets to give your day a boost.

funny and stupid tweets | abby abbyomalley_ babies will not eat vegetables but they will eat airplanes. whats up with 1:26 p.m 29 Oct. 20 Twitter iPhone
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Twitter User Explains Their Most Hated ADHD Symptom

Rejection sensitive dysphoria is a symptom of ADHD that can make it way too easy to second guess one's self in social situations and in essence, take the fun out of everything. It's a pretty relatable feeling for anyone who's ever felt out of place or anxious in social settings. For more stuff like this, here's a twitter thread on living with ADHD.

Twitter Thread on ADHD symptom rejection sensitive dysphoria | paintedbees There are lot symptoms ADHD are just awful live with, but one takes cake by far is rejection sensitivity dysphoria. This fucker, THIS FUCKER will fly ona broom and shit all over good day ll take thing love and make loath | out enjoying an activity with friends, something been looking forward something excited and passionate about. And then--someone might say or do something innocuous like ok ok, calm down
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Complaints That Made Customer Service Workers Snap

It's as if some people are truly born into this world with no shame. Take the guy who continually pestered the waitress about having an under-poured beer, was proven wrong, and then still had the shameless audacity to demand a refund from there. It takes a certain kind of nasty person to go out of their way to make someone working customer service detest their job more than they already (likely) do. 

Customer service workers describe the complaints that made them snap | flippy floppy @annikarainbow 00 Replying Keally22 Lmao red robin is worst. One time had woman complain her salad cold also had one customer tell they were "allergic ice brought them iced water and then they dumped water on floor
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Twitter Thread: Woman Tries To Sell Clothes Dryer, Mega Creep Shows Up

Ugh, there's a moment of shimmering hope in this Twitter thread when you almost think that strange old dude who showed up for the clothes dryer wasn't going to be a piece of garbage, but then boom, he's disgusting. We can only imagine what kind of emotional scarring was left from this terribly creepy encounter. The fact that the dude showed up at her house drunk again (late at night), adds a whole another layer of creepy stalker vibes to this thread. 

A Twitter thread about a woman's encounter with terrible, creepy guy | SaraSuze @tragedythyme quick reminder men: Common events can turn into really scary situations women snap. Case point: This week listed clothes dryer on Letgo app. Because dryer neutral meeting location impractical needed taken out my house
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Local Primary Kids Design Village's Christmas Lights, Hilarity Ensues

Well isn't this just some simply wonderful wholesome holiday goodness? If there's one thing that this quick seasonal post about some kids designing Christmas lights has shown us, it's that more kids should be in charge of designing Christmas lights. 

Village's Christmas lights are designed by the local primary kids | Poppy McKenzie Smith @GTOpoppy Our village Christmas lights are designed by local primary kids and they are single best thing about festive season.
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Twitter Thread: The Cold-Blooded Office Shrimp Thief

We like to think our lives are boring and pointless, but sometimes there's office shrimp drama. This underhanded coworker struck a defenseless order of shrimp fried rice and lied through her teeth about it in a way that only a born psychopath could. For more office drama, here's a Karen who threw away an expensive cake before the office fought back.

Funny twitter thread about work shrimp thief | Zak Toscani @zaktoscani Replying zaktoscani Case facts: Lunch fridge less than an hour before vanished. No shrimp smell remnants microwave or kitchen area. This professional hit no doubt 8:24 PM Mar 29, 2018 50.1K Q 3,471 people are talking about this
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Blatant Liars That Need To Stop Their Lies

Some people are just hooked on weaving their webs of lies. It's as if they've convinced themselves somewhere along the path of grandiose delusions, that other folks won't take the minimal amount of time to fact check them. Well, that's just not the case. Fortunately, we've got tons of truth defending warriors spread throughout the vast expanse of the online world, that are just ready to all out the BS when they spot it. 

A collection of times that people got called out for spreading dishonesty | So where do go here, should venmo 5 or is there link should click Wow guess think l'm fake. Whatever No, but if theres one thing learned Navy its If looks good be true probably is But who knows, maybe Im just an idiot Maybe are this time Nope took literally 5 minutes reverse image search on google pictures are an instagram model: rhiastylex. Nice try Sent
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Twitter Thread: Even Vampires Hate The Bottom Of The Ocean

Not even vampires are down with the prospect of kicking it at the bottom of the sea. I mean, it's understandable. It seems like too often we're hearing about some new, unfathomable monster being discovered in those dark and murky depths. It's pretty much the underworld. So, it's reasonable that immortal beings would eventually end up taking a permanent hiatus from exploring that area. 

For some more gold from Tumblr check out this Tumblr post about a barista encountering a real life mad hatter.

A Twitter thread about how even vampires don't like the bottom of the ocean | Skeleton J. Ball @C_L_Ball Vampires are immortal, right? So 's stopping them laying on couch all eternity watching TV? Like, really lazy shitty vamps. Skeleton J. Ball @C_L_Ball Man really lazy vampire could just order lots delivery food and cash on delivery dude blood.
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Delusional Employee Defends Spelling of "Hampster"

Just cause you want something to be spelled a certain way doesn't mean it's actually spelled that way. It's something many creators of spelling fails never seem to learn. In this case she went and doubled down rather than deferring to the whole world telling her that there's no "P" in "Hamster." Is that the hill anyone wants to die on?

Employee doubles down on spelling of hamster as "Hampster" | Carol Blymire @CarolBlymire Jul 12, 2019 Replying CarolBlymire office space near client young woman meeting with her boss. She by my estimation her late 20s. Carol Blymire @CarolBlymire boss (also woman giving her feedback and reviewing edits she had made on something this young woman wrote. 5:21 PM Jul 12, 2019 1.3K 83 people are Tweeting about this Carol Blymire @CarolBlymire Jul 12, 2019 Replying CarolBlymire They had been speaking
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Twitter Users Share Their Thanksgiving Traditions

There's no doubt that Thanksgiving is completely different this year for most of us. Many folks have been forced to cancel their plans to see family members. This is a time that's testing us all, and certainly making us dig deep. But with this tumultuous rollercoaster comes an eventual state of acceptance, and a recognition that this storm too shall pass. Before it does, it's on us to find ways to still have fun during the holidays from the safe and cozy confines of our respective homes. Plus, if any family members bring up awkward topics during a potential Zoom Thanksgiving Dinner, you can just pause your screen and blame it on bad reception. That's quite the clutch get-out-of-jail-free card right there. 

Various Twitter users describe their Thanksgiving traditions | Ghost @Ghost 7 Replying jimmyfallon Starting Christmas season early by declaring Home Alone" is now Thanksgiving movie #NewThanksgivingTraditions
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Twitter Thread: Star Wars Characters' Coffee Preferences

As it turns out, coffee seems to exist in the Star Wars universe, and has ben mentioned a few times in various works. @ViWiWrites went and detailed what different character's preferred to drink in the morning, and how they make it, based on their personalities. It has a whole lot of us sympathizing with Darth Vader. For another fun star wars thread, here's a thread on exactly how Darth Vader is the queen of drama.

funny twitter thread star wars coffee preferences | Violet Wilson @ViWiWrites Star Wars Characters and they make their coffee thread Obi Wan makes French press coffee and gently uses just weight his hand lower filter, so sediment isn't overly disturbed and acidity is controlled. | Kylo Ren uses an Aeropress because like, come on, just LOOK AT
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Twitter Users' Worst Dates Ever

Sometimes dates end up being completely disastrous. We're talking situations that feel like literal waking nightmares. The kinds of gnarly life moments that you'd just as much forget ever happened. These particular dates absolutely fit the bill for that. 

A collection of tweets describing Twitter users' worst dates they've ever been on | Conor Horgan @ConorHorgan Replying mrnickharvey very first thing she did on sitting down take out small glass bottle and started spooning syrupy liquid into her mouth Homeopathy lasked, heart sinking No powerful sedative-hypnotic drug she replied If don't take l'd be hysterical right now.
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Funny and Dumb Tweets to Smoosh Into That Day

Twitter is the place where a lot of people go to off-gas their dumbest ideas, making it the perfect receptacle for funny weirdness under 140 characters. So put on your pith helmet and lace up your meat-boots, cause there's a whole lot more sick tweets from the twitter-verse to sift through.

silly and funny joke tweets | pat tobin @tastefactory Oh man weather tomorrow is supposed be chef's hat all day Thursday Friday
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