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Tumblr: a magical website with the bizarre, the hilarious and the unexpected. Think you've seen it all? Think again. The best one-liners, random threads and weird thoughts are yet to be discovered. 

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funny jokes from twitter and tumblr | Dee @figgled 's kinda fucked musicians eat sandwiches by placing them inside trombones and honking them into each other's mouths 18/4/17, 12:32 pm skirtsuit-angel this is an example defamiliarization, where something totally normal, conventional, and ordinary like honkwiching is taken and described as something sounds weird and foreign Source: memewhoreMehGyver @AndrewNadeau0 | After leaving Willy Wonka's factory WIFE WIFE WIFE: Lot deaths LOT deaths tour!

Funny Tumblr Moments and Sweet Ripened Tweets

funny tumblr memes and moments | onlytwitterpics Follow bubs @bubsXbaby culinary students be like got spaghetti due at 11:50 ahphrobites Follow culinary students, abt cheat sure hope no one checks under my hat sashaforthewin Follow YOULON'T RAT TOUILLE | chat-chouage Follow other day started writing an office romance but quickly remembered have no idea working an office is like ivan-fyodorovich Follow as opposed vast personal expertise romance? chat-chouage Follow

Shiny Tumblr Gems To Fumble Through

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An anxiety-inducing thread about the ocean's gigantic oarfish. | mischief7manager digitalrabbit asked: Hey heard giving out anxiety, can have 1 anxiety please? biggest-gaudiest-patronuses answered: yes, here is baby oarfish

An Anxiety-Inducing, Informative Thread About Oarfish

funny tweets and jokes from tumblr and twitter | utopians Follow Throwback 2016 told my sister "they're making another planet earth" and she just like. raised an eyebrow and said this absolutely deadpan condescending tone "and where are they getting dirt and had specify meant planet earth nature documentary not celestial body

Tumblr Gems and Funny Tweets to Haughtily Guffaw At

Some wholesome frat boys unite to find lost keys. | snarling-through-our-smiles once lost my keys at frat house. My drunk ass had actually walked home without them, pounded on my apartment door, gotten let by my rightfully- disgruntled roommate, and proceeded pass out on couch. Apparently puked toilet before passing out do not remember this part next morning schlepped back frat house stood there, right front front door. This novel experience l'd never been at frat house broad daylight before.

Tumblr Story: Wholesome Frat Boys Unite To Find Lost Keys

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funny tweets and tumblr jokes | Cemeterry F @daemonic3 So date talked about my obsession with reducing fractions too much wasn't good idea Yeah well, hindsight is 1 | nerdgul average pineapple, peeled and cut makes about 4.5 cups or 36 ounces pineapple chunks. Cans pineapple come variety sizes most common being 20oz and 46oz. Meaning single pineapple generally won't fill up single can perfectly, wich also means everytime u eat pineapple can somewhere someone else has can has rest same pineapple.

Funny Tweets and Tumblr Gems To Quote Later

A funny Tumblr thread about a cheating boyfriend getting his rightful comeuppance. | throwtime Follow about have fun afternoon. So my trainer's bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He's holding her stuff hostage until she agrees talk with him. Which she refuses. She trains free mind three college linebackers college wrestler, two martial artists body builder, and wait Navy seal gonna go get her shit her. This should make an interesting story.

Tumblr Thread: Girl's Boyfriend Cheats On Her, Lads Assemble, Chaotic Good Ensues

Tumblr discusses the nine types of movie posters | catchymemes Seems like Disney is using same guy graphics department. ALADDIN DARK PHOENIX STAR WARS thegaysassyfrenchy deadass thought this 3 Star Wars movies. metalgirlysolid its called Color Theory and been knew Art is subjective" but there are certain "rules can follow make things more appealing subconscious/subliminal kind way

Tumblr Uncovers the Nine Types of Movie Posters

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An informative Tumblr thread on baby oarfish escalates very quickly. | mischief7manager digitalrabbit asked: Hey heard giving out anxiety, can have 1 anxiety please? biggest-gaudiest-patronuses answered: yes, here is baby oarfish

Tumblr Thread On Baby Oarfish Escalates Quickly

tumblr thread on plague village that isolated itself | -even-is-thiss keep hate-reading plague literature medieval era, but as depressed as makes there is always one historical tidbit makes feel little bittersweet and like revisit s story village Eyam even-is-thiss Eyam today is teeny tiny town less than thousand people has barely grown since 1665 its population around 800. Where story starts with Eyam is August 1665 village tailor and his assistant discovered bolt cloth they had bought London

Tumblr Thread: The Plague Village That Pulled a Bro Move

Tumblr users pay homage to the fever dream game that was Forestia. | Holy shit this game amazed no end as kid eerie, strangely melancholic atmosphere and cute-yet-creepy characters were one thing, but kicked absolutely into overdrive player transported freakin' POST-APOCALYPTIC FUTURE timeline first its kind had ever seen. So terrifying is on par with all creepypasta FALSE childhood memories:

Tumblr Users Honor The Fever Dream Game That Was Forestia

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A Tumblr thread about the intergalactic adventures of a space Roomba. | humans-are-seriously-weird E space-australians Follow sepulchritude Follow on topic humans being intergalactic “hold my beer" species: imagine an alien stepping onto human starship and seeing space roomba™ with knife duct taped onto just wandering around ship

Tumblr Thread: Intergalactic Adventures Of Weaponized Roomba

A funny Tumblr story about a plumber accidentally spawning a Lovecraftian nightmare. | lullabyforavirgin S iwasgoingtohellanyw catchymemes Follow Malgayne 19h 2 my grandfather young he owned roadside motel, and my mother used do work around motel family building old and they had bad pipes, so visits plumber were fairly regular occurrence over there.

Plumber Accidentally Spawns Waking Lovecraftian Nightmare

A quick Tumblr thread about the benefit of being a Karen when it comes to one's healthcare. | lunah unicorn tnorn @unicornthO 9N Replying azemezi and @fakeariellejane Look, my friend's grandpa is semi-Karen but best way possible? He got an $80K surgery bill completely forgiven because he asked an itemized bill kept calling daily about them, like $200 scalpel he like so where's my scalpel want my $200 scalpel

Tumblr Thread: Dare To Be A Health Karen

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funny dolphin tumblr thread | just-shower-thoughts kind dick move create animals require air, then confine them freaking ocean water-based-introspection Follow If are talking about dolphins they used be wolf like creatures due scarcity food they had hunt water so they slowly evolved into water mammals, dolphins still have claw bones but they are unnecessary and dolphins will get rid them with time and will develop abilities breath under water (This also partially applies whales)

Quick Tumblr Thread On How Dolphins Started

A quick and informative thread on animals' quirky behavior. | does my cat think kiss his little head? Does he know 's affection or does he think trying eat him valkurion-transverse These questions are totes why follow top quality content right here kittykat8311 's important! spideryspiderygoodness Well depends. Do try put ketchup on him before kissing his head would change things

Quick Informative Tumblr Post On Animals' Quirky Behavior