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Tumblr: a magical website with the bizarre, the hilarious and the unexpected. Think you've seen it all? Think again. The best one-liners, random threads and weird thoughts are yet to be discovered. 

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Tumblr Thread: Being a Purveyor of Fine Clown Meats

In most cases, someone offering to tell you about a dream they had is the most boring and stupid waste of 5 minutes you can engage in. But when it's from the twisted mind of a tumblr user, and it's about operating an all-clown meat deli, it's really hard not to pay attention. It's got action, crime, drama, science and most importantly a whole lotta clown meat. Here are some more funny, random and shiny tumblr gems.

Funny tumblr thread about operating a clown meat deli
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Funny Tumblr Gems of The Sparkling Variety

If you find yourself either bored or boring it would behoove you to indulge in some funny tweets and tumblr gems to quote later. Those quirkmongers of the internet are out to make brilliantly stupid observations whether you like it or not. Even just a small pocketful of shiny tumblr gems is enough to turn today's snooze fest into a snooze vest, which is more fashionable, breezier and therefore more exciting.

funny tumblr gems, memes and random observations
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Tumblr Thread: A Wholesome And Hilarious Dad

This is one lucky baby. Some dads in this world are funnier than others. It sounds like this dad has a phenomenal sense of humor and is ready to embrace the lifetime journey that is fatherhood. You could say his dadness is off the charts. If this Tumblr thread got you going check out this collection of dad jokes that are perfect for everyone's inner father figure

A wholesome and hilarious post about a funny dad.
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Random Tumblr Gems To Cackle at Heartily

Tumblr is like a box of chocolates. There's stuff in there you're gonna hate just as much as you like, and if you're lucky it has more than one layer. The denizens of tumblr never cork up their brains and let those random tumblr gems fly all over the place. Watch your step, the ground is just soaked through with random and stupendous tumblr gems. Please get a mop it's horrible.

funny tumblr gems and memes
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Marvel Movies Ranked By If There Are Trains In Them

If you asked us whether we expected someone to go ahead and rank the Marvel movies by if there are any trains in them, we'd have said, no way. But here we are. Good old Tumblr never lets us down when it comes to surprising us with hyper-focused posts on various subject matters. We'll never look at Marvel movies the same. 

A Tumblr user ranks the various Marvel movies by if there are trains in them | tilt-shift-blur Marvel Movies ranked by if there are trains them Iron Man- 0/10. No trains Incredible Hulk- 1/10. No trains, but verbal reference subway
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Tumblr Has Lawyer-style Debate over Legitimacy of Bread Knife

This Tumblr disagreement over whether or not this bread knife is real became a real debate with counterarguments, claims and diagrams. Frankly at first glance it looks like fake bread, but I guess that's why lawyers exist. For some more lawyer Tumblr stuff, here's a tumblr thread on ridiculous court transcripts. For another argument, here's a tumblr user absolutely schooling another on horses.

Tumblr users argue over a picture of a bread knife using lawyer language | phoenix wright ace attorney whitebeltwriter: dual-destininies: derples: dual-destininies: tf2-fandomstuck: tiniestshorts: Bread knife french have grown more powerful. Hold ! photo of a hand holding bread and a red circle
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Exciting New Sentences That Went Long Unuttered

Human beings are nothing if not creative, and we have an eye for the particular. Thanks to the fluid, ever-evolving nature of language, and the systems of meaning pre-built into context, our brains are able to word better than words can even word themselves. And because of that, sometimes a patch of words hits you in just the right way, like a spicy rare insult  or a funny tweet or tumblr gem where you go "alright I bet no one ever said that before."

funny new and extremely specific sentences
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Tumblr Thread: Reasonable Bed Positions Explained

It's funny and enlightening Tumblr threads like the one we have here that can effectively shine a light on just how hilariously different, people's habits can end up being. In this case, we're dealing with a series of different, occasionally wildly unacceptable bed positions. Some people set their bed up to feel safe as possible. Some people are like Thomas Jefferson, and apparently from another planet. If this Tumblr thread got you going, check out some more random and funny Tumblr gems over here

A funny Tumblr thread breaks down reasonable bed positions.
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Tumblr Post: 3,000 Year Old Cooking Mistake Gets Exposed

Some mistakes can end up living longer than others. Or just being buried away, only to come back to haunt people when we've already been long gone from this crazy planet. In this case, it's quite the hilarious cooking fail. To make matters that much better, it doesn't sound like this is the first time that someone's just tried to bury their fail away. We doubt it'll be the last time. For some more gold from Tumblr check out this Tumblr thread where sea urchins rock a bunch of mini hats. It's everything. 

A 3,000 year old cooking mistake ends up getting exposed.
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Tumblr Thread: Sea Urchins Wearing Mini Hats Is Everything

Thank you to the ever mystifying realm that is the Tumblr world. Did you wake up today thinking that you'd discover sea urchins have in fact been known to rock mini hats? No, no probably not. But here we are. That last bit at the end of the thread about how different sea urchins would try on the hats is a wonderfully wholesome little twist as well. 

A funny Tumblr thread about people outfitting their sea urchins in mini hats.
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Funny, Random Tumblr Gems To Smash Boredom

Is there a better waste of time than delving into the weird, wild and stupid things the denizens of tumblr bring to the table? Maybe, but that said is it truly wasting time if you enjoyed doing it? Who knows, these tumblr gems are packed with peculiarity and stupidness. In order to banish the boredom, may tumblr gems lend their endless curiosity to you

funny tumblr gems, moments, and memes
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Tumblr User Expounds Tolkien's Wonderful Nerdery

Tumblr users apparently have a lot of time on their hands, and they use it for amusingly specific and labor intensive thoughts like the relationship between elves eyes and the curvature of middle earth, or discussing the full versions of classic sayings. We're glad people get so into stuff, like this Tumblr thread that makes history fun.

Tumblr user explains how Tolkein used his extensive knowledge of linguistics to make details in Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit | mirkwoodest One ballsiest things Tolkien ever did write 473k words about some hobbits called frodo, sam, merry, and pippin and then write appendices their names are actually maura, ban, kali, and razal, mirkwoodest
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Tumblr User Poetically Breaks Down Fear Of Love Flickering Out Over Time

Many folks out there have experienced those relationships with partners that felt like they'd be with one another till they took their last breaths on this wild planet. And then, as can happen under the influence of time ceaselessly passing on by, the love that once blared with an unwavering strength for all to see, ends up losing its momentum. Sometimes, people just end up growing apart. That potential future can be a terrifying one to mull over, and this Tumblr user does an awfully effective job at poetically breaking down how love can wither away over time. Just proceed with caution, it might awaken the existential dread. 

If you want to pivot into some more humorous, sparkling gems uncovered from the depths of the Tumblr realm check these out

An emotional Tumblr thread about how love can flicker out over time.
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Tumblr Thread: The Still On-Patrol Submarines

There's a tradition in the U.S. navy that no submarine is lost at sea, and every Christmas a broadcast is sent out to all the crews of those subs still on duty. Naturally, tumblr took it and made it into a whole ghost ship thing, which is somehow macabre but also heartwarming. Why not, people see some unexplained stuff at sea. For a totally classic navy story, here's a Navy operations officer who pulled the laziest move ever.

Tumblr Thread on Patrol Ghost Ship Submarines | pipistrellus STILL ON PATROL learned something new and horrifying today which is no submarine is ever considered "lost there is apparently tradition U.S. Navy no submarine is ever lost. Those go sea and do not return are considered be "still on patrol There is monument about this along canal near here its worst thing have ever seen says "STILL ON PATROL huge letters and then goes on specify exactly many WWII submarine ghosts are STILL OUT THERE
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Tumblr Thread: Cultures Collide Over Ways To Measure Time And Space

People on the internet will break out in a fiery debate over just about anything. In this case, we have Tumblr users from various corners of the globe offering their hot takes on the proper way to measure time and space. Basically, there's always going to be a different way to measure time and space. For some more gold from Tumblr, check out this Tumblr thread about how the Rocky Horror picture show was freedom.

A Tumblr thread where cultures collide over the ways of measuring time and space | E penroseparticle My favorite thing is Europe is spooky because 's old and America is spooky because 's big meduseld difference between America and England is Americans think 100 years is long time, while English think 100 miles is long way Earle Hitchner burntcopper fave mine always american tales where people freaked out because 'someone died this house' and all europeans would go .Yes would be
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Tumblr User Provides Imaginative Twist On Mercury Streamliners

We can always rely on the wonderful, ever wandering minds of the Tumblr world to lead us down the rich rabbit holes brimming with boundless creativity. In this case, we have a Tumblr user go off on quite the inspired tangent about the "history" behind New York Central's "Mercury" engines. Check out some more gold from Tumblr with these Tumblr gems of the sparkling variety

Tumblr user provides a humorous twist on the Mercury train.
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