stupid

If you find yourself either bored or boring it would behoove you to indulge in some funny tweets and tumblr gems to quote later. Those quirkmongers of the internet are out to make brilliantly stupid observations whether you like it or not. Even just a small pocketful of shiny tumblr gems is enough to turn today's snooze fest into a snooze vest, which is more fashionable, breezier and therefore more exciting.

If there's anything to learn from all the regrettable and dumb spelling fails we see on a daily basis, it's that absolutely no one is immune to really stupid mistakes when it comes to their mastery of the English language. Non-native speakers and people who have been speaking English their whole lives all succumb to the fun and frustration of the English language, and at this rate it looks like there's no way to stop it.

Work is a necessary evil. Doing stuff basically sucks, but it's better than being hungry, wet and cold all the time, so the choice is pretty obvious. Naturally, most of us try to get through the day employing as little effort as possible, and sadly for some of us it really shows. "Not my job" moments of failure fill up our streets and living spaces, providing at least some ironic consolation that everyone, not just you, is doing the bare minimum. These moments of dubious professionalism are far from our best work, and it shows.

Tumblr is like a box of chocolates. There's stuff in there you're gonna hate just as much as you like, and if you're lucky it has more than one layer. The denizens of tumblr never cork up their brains and let those random tumblr gems fly all over the place. Watch your step, the ground is just soaked through with random and stupendous tumblr gems. Please get a mop it's horrible.

Even though satirical news has been around for decades, people still have a really hard time parsing out fact from fiction. Sometimes they'll write-off a absurdly funny headline as fake news. Other times they'll react with appropriate shock after reading a "report" that the gates of hell have been opened. It's funny, but also kinda really disappointing when sadly mistaken people don't understand satire.

Puns somehow inhabit the highest and lowest forms of humor at the same time. They're kind of like eggs. They can come in the form of fine, sought-after caviar, or they can get shot out of a chicken's ass for a dollar a dozen. There's no in between. Here are some dad jokes that go father than ever before.

There are whole lot of hopelessly clueless human beings out there. Some folks are certainly more lost than others. You might find yourself in the middle of a conversation with someone who has seemingly fallen through the cracks on all matters of common sense. If so, you might just find yourself inspired to whip out one of these clever euphemisms to get that point across. 

We live in a world of competing wants and needs, and it's a mark of basic decency for a person to have at least some understanding of what to expect from other people. Entitled people and their absurd audacity seem hellbent on ignoring convention, taking more than their fair share, and being exceedingly rude about it all the way down. Ever had a complete stranger try to call the cops on you for not giving them your bike? The world's entitled people se no problem with it.

There is actually a legitimate medical reason for giving the vulture its pants, but that is buried under the undeniable spectacle of a bird wearing pants. The concept was all-consuming enough for Chappell Ellison to demand artists renderings of the panted vulture, and what came of it was, well, more vultures in pants. Nice. It's reminiscent of the time people were asked to share their art and draw a duck.

What do you do when your washing machine breaks, sealing your wet clothes inside itself? Do you bust open the machine like a safe full of your own sopping underwear, breaking the warranty in the process? Do you let your clothes rot in their tomb and eat the cost of half your whole wardrobe? It's not an easy choice already, but slap on some wholly unaware customer service and you've got yourself a predicament. Impossible-to-win moments like this are a good reason why some customers cause scenes.

Sure, you're allowed some creative license when it comes to designing a living space, but some of the unprofessional "not my job" moments and low budget solutions involved in building that place can get to be a bit much. It's hard to choose between having a permanent kitchen toilet or a permanent unmovable rafter ladder. What about a repurposed jug door handle? No?

In any system that claims it pays you based on your output, it's important to know what you're worth, and 80 cents is something most people would see as an insult. This person weighed his options and decided what a better use of his time would be. It's not uncommon for employers to make workmore difficult than it has to be, as evidenced by situations that made people go "screw this, I'm out." For more shenanigans over miniscule amounts of money, here's a dude who got hounded over trivial debt and ended up mailing them a dime.

It's rare to be in love with your job, so naturally, most of us are going to try and get by with the absolute bare minimum. Usually it works out, but sometimes the cracks begin to show and the "not my job" moments start to pile up. Oh, we'd all love to to make everything look perfect, lined up, spelled right and on point but frankly, that's not my job.

We live in a world defined by stuff. There's just so much of it all, and sometimes we have so much that we don't know where it should go. We ascribe value to that stuff, whether it be in sentimental, monetary, or in joke form. People end up trying to sell that weird stuff online. Does anyone really want a repurposed couch bicycle or "rare" Dorito? No. Nevertheless, people keep trying to sell their weird and ridiculous junk.