stories

So I guess our lesson today is don't drink too much at work, steal too much from work, or try sell the secret recipe to Coca-Cola to your enemies.

The real challenge is not letting the kid know they're being funny. Kids can't know that yelling obscenities in a crowded bookstore is hilarious. It'd totally throw off their priorities.

These police officers are recalling all the times people probably should've exercised their right to remain silent.

When someone says something profoundly stupid, there's no sense in trying to argue with them. It's better to just let it happen and hope that life takes care of it.

McDonalds won't miss a few dozen packets of fancy ketchup, but damn, some of these moves are downright underhanded.

If these people had taken just an extra moment to think about what they were going to say, we wouldn't have all these wonderfully cringey stories.

Comebacks are an art. We all know that moment that comes when your victim has just set you up for a super sweet comeback, and all you have to do is knock them down a peg with hilarious precision. Here are seventeen people's shining moments of wit.

You can't choose your neighbors. Some are delightfully weird, others can be horribly creepy. Here's a hodgepodge of weird neighbor stories.

Kids may have their own agenda of eating candy for dinner and crying a lot, but that doesn't mean their parents can't come back with some cleverly manipulative firepower. Holy crap kids are dumb. 

Just seeing someone out there isn't the creepiest thing. It's the ones where someone is looking back. Those are the creepiest.

These compliments inspire more questions than answers. We're not even sure if half of them were even intended to make the recipient feel good. Either way, we hope you smell as fast as you think you do.

Why wouldn't you want to purchase hundreds of ladybugs? Seriously, what could possibly go wrong? Here's a bunch of things that people, for whatever reason, decided they only ever needed to buy once.

When it comes down to explaining why you were late, it's almost more important to just have an interesting story than a realistic one.

Every time we try, we expect a specific result. But what happens when we don't try hard enough? We get results like these.

Idiotic returns, straight up theft and sloppy slight of hand. These folks are either too dumb to realize they're dumb or they're just too desperate to care.

You take a lot of things for granted when you know what everything sounds like. It especially helps to know when to be quiet. Sure would suck to find out too late that farts make a sound.