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Funny, Sparkling Gems from Scottish Twitter

If there's one Twitter phenomenon we'd all wish to emulate, it'd be the hard hitting, patter-driven, jargon-slinging denizens of Scottish Twitter. Upon first viewing, some of the language doesn't seem all that decipherable. But then you start to get it, and after that you start to need it. Nothing but praise for these gems of Scottish Twitter.

funny Scottish twitter tweets | moth dad @innesmck fuckk whatever shite currency yous have got, new scottish notes have OTTERS on them Ten Pounds Royal Bank Srotland 10 Stering | Philip Larkin @philiplarkin Just spotted cat on someone's porch, miaowing be let Without thinking walked up door, rang bell, nodded cat and left only rounded corner realised done as heard owner shouting F K SARAH CAT JUST RANG DOORBELL
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The Dumbest Dogs People Met

A smart dog is an amazing thing to behold, like this story of a dog who figured out how to herd a lawn roomba. That said, dog geniuses are hard to come by, and the spectacle of smart dogs are far outweighed by the hilarious, pitiful and shocking antics of incredibly stupid dogs. For all their shenanigans, their dumbness is still endearing.

stories of the stupidest dogs people met | airroe 17 hours ago work with dogs professionally however dumbest dog ever met my friend's roommates dog college. Harvey. He absolute sweetest pup, but he so dumb he only had room one emotion at time and only had 2 emotions total: happy and sad cat hissed at him; sad. People came inside; happy. Someone yelled; sad. Someone said his name; happy. People not giving attention; sad. Remembered he had toy; happy. But dumbest thing this dog ever did knock
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What New Hires Did to Get Fired on the First Day

A new job may be confusing and hard, but it's still pretty hard to do something so dumb that it will get you fired on the spot. Here are some unwise choices new hires made that made their managers pull the plug before they could do any more damage. It's almost as if it's a competition to get fired.

Things people did to get the fired on the first day | reddit posted by BADMANvegeta_ Guy lied about knowing drive forklift. Drove into support beam photo of man driving in a warehouse dressed in a safety jacket
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Moments that Prove Kids are Bizarre and Stupid

If you had like a coworker who was a child, you'd never get anything done. We know that from our own experiences as children that kids are weird and dumb. Sure, they're still learning that life makes no damn sense, but that doesn't detract from the fact that kids are strange and stupid.

Stories and pictures of kids being strange and dumb | STAND UP BELIEVE i heart TRAINS child holding up a sign at a protest rally. Airdrie warns public brazen coyote after 6-year-old attacked at light festival Child is safe but disappointed he didn't turn into werewolf, mom says Sarah Rieger CBC News Posted: Dec 18, 2018 5:45 PM MT Last Updated: 3 hours ago
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Ways People Rebelled Against Unfair School Rules

School is typically your first opportunity in life to be done dirty by an uncaring monolith with corrupt administration, so it's no wonder it can be a place of rebellion. People remember when teachers are unfair, and come up with some clever ways to flout the rules.

Ways students rebelled at school | posted by Acceptable-Living Last year our school fetched ban on backpacks and bags general since they were apparently safety hazard" two days later some guy my yeargroup comes carrying his books and pencil case microwave. Dude made national news
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Real-Life Glitches People Experienced

Sometimes everyday life gets altered in a way that makes us think we're living in a simulation. Sometimes it's just a creepy moment, sometimes it's a strange coincidence. Either way, sometimes something so strange or unlikely happens that we just have to wonder if we're living in a boring, crappy matrix.

Strange and unlikely moments that felt like a glitch | posted by Stockero1 walking my dog and almost driveway looked down some reason and looked back up and ended up being back at road about 6 blocks away where thought so confused but my dog looked completely fine.
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Weird Stuff People Saw In People's Houses

As much as you'd like to hide your shame, hoarded collections of doorknobs and evidences of your eccentric hobbies, sometimes someone else will have to enter your weird home. A plumber, pet sitter or maintenance employee is gonna need to get in there. And they see some really interesting things. Sometimes they don't even need to make it inside. Window washers see some bizarre things through the glass.

weird things people saw in other people's homes | minervasbiscuittin 16.7k points 12 hours ago O 2 e 3 6 edited 3 hours ago Back my teenage babysitting days regularly watched three kids whose parents kept one those ENORMOUS packages hot dogs out on kitchen counter. Everyone household would just wander by and grab room-temperature hot dog as snack whenever they felt like babysat them 2-3 times per week over year and never not saw those hot dogs wonder about them all time.
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Dumb Questions People Were Asked

Sometimes we're just not thinking and sometimes people are really just flat-out stupid. There are a lot of really dumb questions that get asked. People have almost too many stories about dumb things people said to have their intelligence questioned.

Dumb and funny questions people were asked | posted by moe_skweeto trying move one those big, multi purpose weight machines, and they noticed it's set its heaviest setting Why don't set its lightest setting so it'll be lighter
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When People Realized Their Boss Was Dumb

It can be really frustrating to realize your boss is a goddamn moron. Some bosses are just good at hiding the fact that they have no idea what they're doing, but some are not quite so good. Don't get us wrong, many bosses are competent, but these ones really let the stupid cat out of the idiot bag.

Times people realized their boss was stupid | Peregrine2976 Dropped ton cash renting art museum's art bank our (decrepit Chinatown) office. Then didn't have money pay salaries
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People Who Worked Smarter, Not Harder

Some of the greatest innovations at work come from human laziness. It's just not a good idea to work extra hard when you can think of a way to do the same work more efficiently. That said, don't do too good of a job or your boss might find out that you don't need to work there anymore. One or two of these definitely backfired. And a few definitely weren't as smart as the person first thought.

People tell stories of times their laziness made them work more efficiently | post by SirSithsalot remember having peel 20kg charred eggplant at restaurant worked asked chef if there an easier way do His reply yep, get someone else do
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Weird Things Kids Asked Mall Santas for Christmas

Kids are weird and dumb. Sometimes they get really specific thoughts stuck in their head and given the choice to ask for anything they could ever want, will choose to ask for something like a box of kleenex or a really old pug. Here are some strange experiences for the holiday season.

Weird things children asked mall and store Santas to get them for Christmas | After waiting two hours line my daughter asked Santa hot dog.
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Evidence that Kids Are Weird and Stupid People

Nobody needs a study to let them know that kids are weird and stupid. We remember our idiotic beliefs and misconceptions as kids that we honestly believed for way too long. Kids aren't just wrong a lot, they're also terrible at doing things. For all their mistakes and misdeeds, there are a lot of funny moments of kids being stupid and weird.

funny memes and stories of kids being stupid and weird | Told Abby this is where she can put her letters Santa. So she gathered her toy letters and put them Santa. fetters SANTA felld SA | Robert McNees @mcnees Recently told 8yo she should always replace toilet paper runs out. Just found this bathroom. 3:18 PM 11/29/20 Twitter iPhone 74 Retweets 4 Quote Tweets 979 Likes
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The Biggest Bullets People Dodged

We like to think we're in control of our own lives, but that's not always the case. We do our best to stay out of trouble, but sometimes it's just up to chance, or someone else's intervention that we don't end up stepping into a pit of snakes. One missed bus or the decision to have cake instead of pie can lead to some missed bullets or crazy butterfly effect situations.

stories of times people barely dodged a bad situation | Freshman year college had calc class material had learned before, but various reasons they didn't give transfer credit. So skipped class quite frequently. Though usually slept one morning find myself awake at 8:30 and not really feeling like sleep. Might as well check on class and see 's going on midterm exam.
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Times People Cheated and Got Away With It

Cheating on tests or in life is dishonorable, underhanded, and inherently compelling. People are fixated on bending the rules in clever ways, and there are some loopholes people exploited for years. For an amazing loophole there's this person whose dry ice loophole made a mockery of a robotics competition.

Stories of people cheating on tests and getting away with it. | Bill_r_i 183 points 4 days ago Everytime had write book report high school wrote on same book never fully read. Used book at least 4 times
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Cringeworthy Times People Made Up Ridiculous Lies

There are a few reasons to pretend that you said a perfectly timed one-liner and then roundhouse kicked a fellow Starbucks customer in the face. One reason is that you're looking to lie to the world in exchange for some totally undeserved attention. Another might be that you want to imagine that you're the type of person who knows martial arts. Social media lets people express themselves, and sometimes the selves people try to express aren't that great. People also use the internet to make up crap about their intelligence, like these cringe-worthy brain-lords who think they're total geniuses.

times people made up cringeworthy lies | An impatient lady behind at Chick-Fil- very rudely and assertively insulted staff and cashiers on slow taking her order be brought out believe her words were "Seriously, l've been waiting five minutes my order, and all ordered chicken sandwich So and my very large mouth decided respond this lady. With quite clarity and purpose turned around and said 16 Children Die Every 30 seconds starvation around world. So Mam believe can survive waiting couple minute
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Strange And Unexplainable Things People Saw

We've all seen some strange and totally unprovable things in our lives. There have been times we've sworn we've seen disappearing items, strange premonitions, lights in the sky and weird stuff staring back at us from the darkness. None of them have straightforward explanations, but they're at least interesting. For more unprovable strangeness, here are people's creepiest theories on the nature of reality.

weird stories and creepy moments | violentorifice Standing outside convenient store saw two different cars park (about minute or so apart) and go store obvious two didn't know each other atleast seemed After shopping, they each left other's car still can't explain today without going down CIA conspiracy route
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