stories

If there's one Twitter phenomenon we'd all wish to emulate, it'd be the hard hitting, patter-driven, jargon-slinging denizens of Scottish Twitter. Upon first viewing, some of the language doesn't seem all that decipherable. But then you start to get it, and after that you start to need it. Nothing but praise for these gems of Scottish Twitter.

A smart dog is an amazing thing to behold, like this story of a dog who figured out how to herd a lawn roomba. That said, dog geniuses are hard to come by, and the spectacle of smart dogs are far outweighed by the hilarious, pitiful and shocking antics of incredibly stupid dogs. For all their shenanigans, their dumbness is still endearing.

A new job may be confusing and hard, but it's still pretty hard to do something so dumb that it will get you fired on the spot. Here are some unwise choices new hires made that made their managers pull the plug before they could do any more damage. It's almost as if it's a competition to get fired.

If you had like a coworker who was a child, you'd never get anything done. We know that from our own experiences as children that kids are weird and dumb. Sure, they're still learning that life makes no damn sense, but that doesn't detract from the fact that kids are strange and stupid.

School is typically your first opportunity in life to be done dirty by an uncaring monolith with corrupt administration, so it's no wonder it can be a place of rebellion. People remember when teachers are unfair, and come up with some clever ways to flout the rules.

Sometimes everyday life gets altered in a way that makes us think we're living in a simulation. Sometimes it's just a creepy moment, sometimes it's a strange coincidence. Either way, sometimes something so strange or unlikely happens that we just have to wonder if we're living in a boring, crappy matrix.

As much as you'd like to hide your shame, hoarded collections of doorknobs and evidences of your eccentric hobbies, sometimes someone else will have to enter your weird home. A plumber, pet sitter or maintenance employee is gonna need to get in there. And they see some really interesting things. Sometimes they don't even need to make it inside. Window washers see some bizarre things through the glass.

Sometimes we're just not thinking and sometimes people are really just flat-out stupid. There are a lot of really dumb questions that get asked. People have almost too many stories about dumb things people said to have their intelligence questioned.

It can be really frustrating to realize your boss is a goddamn moron. Some bosses are just good at hiding the fact that they have no idea what they're doing, but some are not quite so good. Don't get us wrong, many bosses are competent, but these ones really let the stupid cat out of the idiot bag.

Some of the greatest innovations at work come from human laziness. It's just not a good idea to work extra hard when you can think of a way to do the same work more efficiently. That said, don't do too good of a job or your boss might find out that you don't need to work there anymore. One or two of these definitely backfired. And a few definitely weren't as smart as the person first thought.

Kids are weird and dumb. Sometimes they get really specific thoughts stuck in their head and given the choice to ask for anything they could ever want, will choose to ask for something like a box of kleenex or a really old pug. Here are some strange experiences for the holiday season.

Nobody needs a study to let them know that kids are weird and stupid. We remember our idiotic beliefs and misconceptions as kids that we honestly believed for way too long. Kids aren't just wrong a lot, they're also terrible at doing things. For all their mistakes and misdeeds, there are a lot of funny moments of kids being stupid and weird.

We like to think we're in control of our own lives, but that's not always the case. We do our best to stay out of trouble, but sometimes it's just up to chance, or someone else's intervention that we don't end up stepping into a pit of snakes. One missed bus or the decision to have cake instead of pie can lead to some missed bullets or crazy butterfly effect situations.

Cheating on tests or in life is dishonorable, underhanded, and inherently compelling. People are fixated on bending the rules in clever ways, and there are some loopholes people exploited for years. For an amazing loophole there's this person whose dry ice loophole made a mockery of a robotics competition.

There are a few reasons to pretend that you said a perfectly timed one-liner and then roundhouse kicked a fellow Starbucks customer in the face. One reason is that you're looking to lie to the world in exchange for some totally undeserved attention. Another might be that you want to imagine that you're the type of person who knows martial arts. Social media lets people express themselves, and sometimes the selves people try to express aren't that great. People also use the internet to make up crap about their intelligence, like these cringe-worthy brain-lords who think they're total geniuses.

We've all seen some strange and totally unprovable things in our lives. There have been times we've sworn we've seen disappearing items, strange premonitions, lights in the sky and weird stuff staring back at us from the darkness. None of them have straightforward explanations, but they're at least interesting. For more unprovable strangeness, here are people's creepiest theories on the nature of reality.