For some reason tons of people think that the worst thing that can happen if you don't follow a doctors orders is that they'll get caught and be scolded. But no, there's an actual reason a medical professional tells you to do something. Medical professionals see through lying patients all the time, and patients still try to deny the stupid things they've done.
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May these aid you in your hunt for new jokes to impress your friends who you've already told all your good jokes to. Everyone's heard the "chicken crossed the roads" and "why the long faces" of the world, so here are people's go-to "you probably haven't heard this one before" jokes. In addition to theses, here are some pun-tastic dad jokesand jokes people love that no one else does.
There was always a sort of extended leniency toward crap that popular kids could get away with, but sometimes they either flew too close to the sun or played a part in some high school's "incident". Sometimes it wasn't even up to them, but that's just how things shake out sometimes. Sometimes they come back for round two and make high school reunions awkward.
You don't need to be an adult for long to realize that kids are extremely dumb and weird. It makes you go back and think about all the weird junk you must have done as a kid. Maybe you had an irrational fear of cardboard boxes or thought dirt tasted good. In the opposite direction, here's a story of a five-year-old who's way too smart for her own good.
Whether it's getting to see a movie with swears, doing some super risky crap and almost getting hurt, or general moments of sworn secrecy, there are moments when a father is inclined to say " don't tell your mother." Almost everyone has a moment they can remember their dad letting them do something their mom wouldn't approve of and being like "alright be cool." To keep it going with the dad theme, here are some tweets and memes to keep dads going.
Everyone has wondered if their life would be more peaceful if they worked in an animal shelter, or got to play video games all day. As it turns out, a job is still a job, and there's a reason people don't do it for free. For more insight into other people's jobs, here are bad stock photos of people's jobs getting roasted, as well as stories of the worst things people's coworker's did without being fired.
The dating world puts people into more contact with toxic nice guys and creepy girls than they'd like to have, but sometimes a deal-breaker can come from somewhere else. Sometimes a small detail, one comment, or messed up behavior they display can make you look at someone in a whole different light.
People are absolutely terrific at doing stupid things. Whether it's eating 17 donuts, climbing through a bunch of poison ivy, or eating the hottest chicken sandwich ever, you can bet that people will do real dumb junk just to prove it to themselves. Here are more people's dumbest high risk, low reward moments.
It's a well known fact that kids aren't smart people. They might become smart people someday, but even that isn't a sure thing. We don't even need evidence that kids are stupid and weird because we were kids and we just know how dumb we were. No matter what you tell em, they're still gonna be dumb and weird.
"Nice Guys" are a kind of manipulative dude, claiming to be chivalrous, but then demanding sex and attention that they feel like they're owed. It can be a weird combination of creepiness and entitlement. Toxic behavior is toxic behavior, like this woman who bombarded a guy's phone with a storm of texts.
As you age, your sense of self changes, and you realize that your personality is based mostly on commercials and the fact that you used to have more cartilage in your knees. Aging starts at your first encounter with utter BS and continues with factors you didn't anticipate about adulthood, but in the end, you're better for it.
Whether it broke immediately, was completely useless to begin with, cost too much or was literally stupid, most people have spent too much money on a dumb thing. It just seems like its in our nature to get tricked or trick ourselves into buying useless junk. It's probably better to give it some extra thought when pulling out the credit card to buy a collector's edition set of Robocop themed silverware or a do-it-yourself liposuction kit, but what's the fun in that?
Escape rooms are a strange chance to see what people will do when they're left up to their own wits. Usually it ends with idiots smashing props with hammers, smuggling tools in and trying to escape through very real air ducts and sewers. Escape room employees see some weird stuff.
People will do some incredibly dumb stuff and take some pretty big risks for almost no reason. We've all had those moments where we've thrown the odds to the wind for some trivial purpose, like free-climbing up the side of a building just to retrieve a Frisbee. A lot of times we frankly don't get paid enough o put ourselves in as much danger as we do. What's for sure is that some people just don't give a heck.
You never know how bad someone can get until you've seen an entitled person going full Karen. Being connected to someone with Karen tendencies often means you have to do a lot of apologizing for their abusive, narcissistic behavior. People who know Karens end up trying to avoid them as much as possible.
Adult life is a bit of a surprise to everybody. There are things that you expected but still don't enjoy, like paying bills. Then there are other strange things that are hard to expect, like the childishness of other adults, and the realities of dusting. It starts with your first encounter with total BS and just keeps sliding from there. Here are some adult life equivalents of calling the teacher mom.
