ridiculous

Steak-Umm strikes gold on Twitter again. This time, it's a feverish thread about a Valentine's Day date that takes an unexpected turn down mints-falling-from-the-ceiling-lane. Yes, that happens at one point. If you don't want to engage your imagination and enjoy some vivid imagery from the wild world of Steak-Umm, then keep browsing the web as you were. 

BUT, if you want to get momentarily lost in an unpredictable, blessed, Twitter thread that doesn't make any sense but also makes total sense, then read this shit from Steak-Umm. It is a trip. 

Someone on AskReddit asked for waiters to dish out the biggest Valentine's Day disasters they witnessed. Can't imagine having to share a room with some of these arrestingly awkward fallouts between people out on dates. It's certainly a holiday ripe for romantic fails. 

Dan Sheehan's unintentional yarn purchase went on to inspire a wonderfully punny Twitter thread. The most impressive part about this ridiculous sequence of events, is how Mr. Sheehan managed to summon the drive to try and knit the sweater in the first place. His intentions were understandable from the start though. Chris Evans did rock the hell out of that cable-knit sweater in Knives Out. 

This employee came to learn what constitutes a food allergy, a bit later than they might have expected. The tingling that their brain had registered as perfectly "normal" was an allergic response to the bananas they were eating. Their co-workers must've gotten a kick out of the revelation. 

It's a simple enough meme, and it fills our hearts with boundless joy. I mean, who knew that R2-D2 "in Italy" could go on to inspire such a hilarious, incomprehensible result. Seriously, whatever that "translation" is 10 times really fast. Therein lies the beauty of it. The force is strong with this meme. 

Wash your hands and get them ready to meet our face. Moments like these are ones where you wish with all your might that people are joking. Then you think about all the ignorance you've seen in person and you realize they're probably not. For another self-esteem boost, here are some more daunting moments of disappointing facepalm.

Those Amazon Echos can get you, man. This couple experienced quite the shocking moment when the husband had unknowingly paired up with the Amazon Echo, while watching a video with Terry Crews in it. While the initial and mysterious booming voice might've been some kind of terrifying, can you imagine if Terry Crews was actually in their kitchen? 

Someone on AskReddit asked for people to share the most insulting compliments that they've ever received. Insulting compliments are a confusing predicament to find yourself in; on the one hand, someone just said something "nice" to you, but on the flip side, the nicety was paired with something else that pointed out how you were less than, in the person's eyes. Like, you're great, but not as good as everyone else in the room. 

When the topic of raises came up, this store manager decided to send out a company-wide email forbidding employees from openly discussing their salaries. The problem there is that that violates labor laws, and this genius decided to put their policy into writing. An unfair boss can be the source of drama and justice, like this security guard who go the last laugh or this manager who tried to fire an employee for following the rules.

This guy asked the people of Reddit whether or not he was in the wrong for his song choice at a friend's wedding. It sounds like heavy metal could've been a tough choice for the crowd. People seem to be suggesting that it was a jerk move, with them knowing what the song was about. You be the judge. 

This bridezilla came out strong with her request for gifts over $250 from anyone who wanted to attend the wedding. Sounds like the wedding was serving as a convenient way to ask people to empty their pockets; but only if their pockets had over $250 in them. 

Rare insults will always manage to melt our icy hearts. They're often creative and brutal, and likely leave whoever is on the receiving end of them, speechless. The online world will always have people ready to spew the next insult, so why not spice it up a bit by thinking outside the box. These folks definitely pulled it off. 

Antiques roadshow memes hold a special place in our hearts. The captions from @KeatonPatti are a pleasant mix of dark humor and wit. You might just surprise yourself by wanting one of these bizarre items. 

It's no myth that children are bizarre and stupid. They believe every lie, have a horrible sense of logic, and a lot of them can't read. So it makes sense that many of us remember the incredibly dumb things we believed as children. Some of them even make some sense before you remember how stupid you were.