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Some Dumb, Stupid, Wonderful Puns

It's hard to tell if we love or hate puns. When they're bad, you just want to call the police and sit in the corner facing the wall. But sometimes we feel like we need a ration of puns to satisfy our wordplay cravings. How much you like puns at any given time probably depends on your mood, as well as how many bad ones you've had to see recently.

Funny and dumb puns | Dads naming boats might be my favorite thing ever ABOAT TIME Fishizzle Feeling N ST. THONAS WOOD TOO WOOD NOT Pier Pressure ANCOUVER DAD CIRRHOSIS RIVER UNSINKABLE II AQUA HOLIC. best Shires ENTRA MORS HEINZ ROSTER SARKE WEANZ 20% MORS HEINZ NCESTERS SAUCE 20% MORE 20% MORE HEINZ WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE HEINZ WORCESTERSHIRE Sinie86 Since-1869 HEINZ
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Tattoo Parlor Has Epic Response for Entitled Customer

Sometimes people feel like being a paying customer makes them impervious to criticism, but when it comes to responding to entitled customers who don't reveal the full story, the businesses themselves tend to have some pretty damning responses. Here's one where a business owner leveled with a guy who complained over a dollar taco. This one has an interesting twist regarding that pesky "voice was too high" remark.

A bad customer leaves a one star review for a tattoo parlor so the business has a funny response | Absolutely horrible. Came here one day with two friends who wanted an ear piercing and nipple piercing. After getting yelled at walking wrong door, which is not at all marked went get piercings and one young woman my party denied service nose ring because her "voice too high is insane and discriminatory wanted tattoo but after way have been treated this establishment wouldn't let them touch with
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Self-Titled Geniuses Who Bragged All Over The Internet

The internet is absolutely smeared with the mental diarrhea of people who think they're the smartest person in the world. Whether it's claiming to be smarter than a supercomputer, having more potential than a celebrated professional, or just claiming to have a superior taste in children's cartoons, the internet has been sprayed with the cringeworthy bragging of self-titled geniuses.

People who think they're brilliant | Replying Chiefs and @DavidKoechner could never play NFL s game brutes. My physiology is simply too advanced. Precision/Finely tuned Big and juiced up. Could have been pro? Easy, but this brain is too calculating s as simple as 27
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Someone's not taking too kindly to the "pressure" of being questioned at the station. Sheesh. 

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Moments that Prove Kids are Bizarre and Stupid

If you had like a coworker who was a child, you'd never get anything done. We know that from our own experiences as children that kids are weird and dumb. Sure, they're still learning that life makes no damn sense, but that doesn't detract from the fact that kids are strange and stupid.

Stories and pictures of kids being strange and dumb | STAND UP BELIEVE i heart TRAINS child holding up a sign at a protest rally. Airdrie warns public brazen coyote after 6-year-old attacked at light festival Child is safe but disappointed he didn't turn into werewolf, mom says Sarah Rieger CBC News Posted: Dec 18, 2018 5:45 PM MT Last Updated: 3 hours ago
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Twitter Thread: Gremlin Kitten Snarfs Weed Cookie

This just got funnier and funnier. Twitter user @Carmine_Deville shared a Twitter thread about what followed after her gremlin cat snarfed down a weed cookie. You better believe all kinds of chaos and internal mental crises were encountered. Fortunately, the gremlin was just fine in the end!

Woman's cat accidentally eats weed cookie, and the Twitter thread that follows | My horrible gremlin kitten snarfed an entire weed cookie and got violently high other day thread. Carmine Deville @Carmine_Devi 14h Replying Carmine_Deville Firstly wanna preface this by saying she's fine, because this cat is an indestructible Dumpster Demon TM with stomach steel. Her father raccoon and her mother ate and shat nails. She'd fight god half stale bagel and win. 1 Carmine Deville @Carmine_Devi
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Ricky Gervais Selflessly Trolls Oscars Over Narcissism

Ricky Gervais just wants people to know they have options, options like checking out his show "After Life" instead of watching the "narcissistic plague" that encircles the Oscars. To make matters even better, people were asking Gervais what joke he'd open with tonight if he were hosting the Oscars. He was more than prepared to unleash that iconic razor sharp wit. 

Revisit the timeless classic that was his Golden Globes monologue from this year over here, while you're at it. 

Ricky Gervais trolls the Oscars for its narcissism on Twitter by recommending his show | Ricky Gervais @rickygervais America! Binge-watch #AfterLife on @Netflix tonight s about man who realises humanity is disgusting, narcissistic plague, and so becomes angry depressed and loses will live. Or watch Oscars instead and actually experience those feelings first hand.
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Pizza Delivery Employees Reveal Their Weirdest Customers

People that have worked as pizza delivery employees are dishing out their strangest experiences while on the job. Whether it's opening the door to scantily-clothed lunatics, or being greeted by a dude with a literal ball python, you never know what kind of curveball that job might throw you. Working as a pizza delivery guy puts you on the frontline of navigating people's weirdest habits, to get them their damn pizza. Sounds like a fun job. 

Pizza delivery guys share their weirdest experiences while at work | posted by impgrl369 Had someone answer door once with snake on his shoulders. Not like milk snake or garter but ball python. Probably about 6 feet long. As he closed door heard him say someone hadn't reacted at all lol. Sounded so disappointed.
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Tumblr User Does Math To Calculate Cheapest Wings Deal

Now this is what math was made for. Yes, calculating how to go about getting the cheapest deal on wings is the best use of one's time. We just love it when people come together for stuff like this. 

Tumblr user runs calculation on how to obtain the cheapest wings deal | sean @seanposting theres gotta be better way convey this information WINGS 27.25 24 Chicken Wings 4 Chicken Wings 4.55 27.80 25 Chicken Wings 5 Chicken Wings 6 Chicken Wings 5.70 28.95 26 Chicken Wings 27 Chicken Wings 6.80 30.10 7 Chicken Wings 8 Chicken Wings 9 Chicken Wings 7.95 28 Chicken Wings 29 Chicken Wings 30 Chicken Wings 35 Chicken Wings 40 Chicken Wings 45 Chicken Wings 31.20 9.10 32.35 10.20 33.50 10 Chicken Wi
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Tumblr Thread Explores Loophole Of Davy Jones' Curse

Leave it to Tumblr to rules-lawyer a curse. And we're not talking about a small curse here; we're talking about the infamous Davy Jones Curse from Pirates of the Caribbean. 

Tumblr thread pokes fun at Pirates of The Caribbean | bootslots funniest thing entire pirates caribbean series is definitely one scene At World's End where they have parlay but davy jones is part and rather than have him stand shallows or something they get big bucket water and have stand on on shore who thought idea? who thought "put davy jones bucket water" and had guts suggest aloud? and then who went "hey sounds like great idea at some point someone told davy jones their idea him stand bucke
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German Guy Attempts Naming All 50 States, Hilarity Ensues

Twitter user @haru_cchii, went viral over his attempt at identifying all 50 states on a map. People were quick to appreciate just how ridiculous the results ended up being. I mean, you can't beat "Texas 2." 

German guy tries to name all 50 states and hilarity ensues | Factoid Dollar Bin Diver team TBD @factoid_twitch Replying TSchmidtbsuer Everything is Biggerer Texas Two. washington? This also feds North Texas ohio Oreo wish? this wisconsin Dakota? Minnesota Wyoming Square Arizona Kansas? this is rave New Jersey, New Mexico AND new York cereal def ohio Nevada Kansas! west. this just Screams OHIO Alabama Mountain mama Virgin AAAAA take home OHIO where is Kansas? wist
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Guy Leaves Girlfriend At Airport Cause Her Passport's Expired

It sounds like this young woman has a whole lot of growing up to do. This guy asked the people of Reddit whether or not he was in the wrong for leaving his girlfriend at the airport, after realizing her passport was expired. The context is everything here though. At the end of the day, things probably aren't going to work out if your partner refuses to stop acting like a child when it comes to taking responsibility for simple life tasks. 

Guy asks people on Reddit whether it was wrong for him to leave his immature girlfriend at the airport | Enter my gf 2 years she's uni grad with good job, but still lives at home with her parents. As clued on as she is about her professional field not exagerrating say she doesn't even know basic shit like post fucking letter. Whenever she's asked help with something she really is asking is someone take responsibility task couple examples last few months:
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Choosing Beggar Wants Friend's Car For Date, Gets Rejected, Questions Friendship

Ah, the good old choosing beggar strikes again with another ridiculous case of entitlement. This guy's biggest mistake was assuming that the car was going to be the dealbreaker when it came to getting lucky on his date. Naturally, that kind of twisted thinking resulted in one ridiculous and avoidable angry back-and-forth between friends, regarding being able to borrow a car. Hopefully they're able to salvage their friendship. 

Guy's buddy wants his car for a date, and they end up arguing about it | Hey bro, is cool if still borrow whip tonight? Yeah man just bring back by 10 time swinging thru
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Kim Kardashian Posts Pics Of House, Gets Roasted

Kim Kardashian shared some pictures of her house, and Twitter proceeded to have fun with it. She's really leaning into that whole minimalism trend, and some people decided to take it upon themselves to do some photoshop decorating. 

Kim Kardashian posts pictures of her creepy house and gets roasted on Twitter | white house with no furniture and weird architecture tweet by zack @daly_zack Replying KimKardashian pls put some things ur house freaks out
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Guy Loses Job, Gets Stranded On Island, And Gets Friend Deported

It's like this guy was trying to check all the boxes for what constitutes a devastating fail. It's one thing if life throws you a sh*t-coated curveball and you end up losing your job. It's a whole another beast to find yourself stranded on an actual island. But to additionally somehow get your friend deported? That's straight up surreal nightmare territory. 

Guy loses his job, gets stranded on an island, and ends up getting his friend deported | r/tifu posted by jazzandboats TIFU by losing my job, getting stranded on an island, and getting my friend deported Oooooh boy this is big FU. Thave been working on cruise ship past 5 months live with, work with, eat with, and do everything else with same people every day months
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People Describe Movies Badly (30 Tweets)

People on Twitter are doing their very best at describing movies badly. The resulting attempts are definitely entertaining. Turns out it's way more fun to describe movies badly. 

Twitter users describe movies badly | tweet by Ryan Bartholomee @RyanBartholomee Replying jimmyfallon Snakes on Plane documentary about why emotional support snakes are bad idea #DescribeAMovieBadly
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