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25 Decimating Burns That People Hit Themselves With

Sure, anyone can come up with a rare insult to bruise people's egos, but it takes a true master of self deprecation to put themselves through devastating self roasts. You could call it humility. You could also call it a complete lack of self respect. But when people are done hitting others with spicy rare insults, they throw themselves through the roast gauntlet. It looks like it stings.

funny insults people said about themselves
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25 "Not My Job" Moments of Radiant Unprofessionalism

Man, why are people always telling us to do stuff? Okay, maybe it's our bosses, and maybe they're telling us to do our jobs, but still. Why can't they be more chill? It's like they're begging for a handful of "not my job" moments of professional apathy to come creeping into the workplace. Not working is a great time, especially while at work. Yeah, it produces a few "not my job" moments, but still.

Funny lazy "not my job" moments
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People's Favorite Lighter Conspiracy Theories

We can talk about what shady underground group is doing what where, but the conspiracies people really believe in are about game shows, traffic cones and Disney attractions. They're not exactly inconsequential, maybe more of a thought experiment. Hey, it's at least fun to turn to a coworker and say "have you heard that small pockets are in bed with big purse?" Here are people's creepiest theories on the nature of reality.

funny light conspiracy theories
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Via Snek
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What's more human than looking at a Roomba and saying "not having to vacuum is great, but why can't it bring me a beer?" With just a few slight modifications we now have that reality. While the robot revolution is inevitable, we might as well put our feet up and give the robots a half decent reason to revolt against their humiliation. What once was roomba has now become brewmba.

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48 Funny Pun Business Names That Chose Cleverness

It's unclear if having a pun business name is any better for business but at least it's something to look at. There's just something so awesome about an entire sign someone made just for a dumb joke. Maybe it's the sheer commitment to the bit? For the connoisseurs of sign jokes, here's a funny restaurant sign that dispensed jokes and wisdom.

funny pun businesses
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Crocodiles probably don't make the best pets on account of the lifeless eyes and crushing bite strength, but at least we can watch this and imagine having one on a leash. It is kinda funny how she just pops her head up like that.

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Rare Insults That Decimated People Creatively

Sure, we can live our lives telling the people around us "you look dumb" or "you stink" but that lacks panache. It's when you hear someone say "nice hair, you look like a dropped lollipop" or some crap that makes you go alright, that was one of those rare and spicy insults that hit different. People may not be good at reading, writing, being kind, driving or doing their jobs. But damn they're good at insults. Holy crap.

funny rare and unique insults
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Random Tumblr Gems To Hack Through With A Machete

The land of Tumblr is one of intrigue, passion, and horribly stupid observations. Just one look at anonymous quips and gripes and we're off rifling through tumblr gems like a goblin. Do we ever really learn anything? Yes, for a second. Then it's gone again, pitched into the ether with so many other TILs and fancy curiosities. But there's no stopping the glowing aura of those sparkling tumblr gems uncovered from the deep.

funny tumblr gems
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Entitled People and Their Uproarious Demands

For some reason we live in a society where self-reflection isn't a necessary skill. A place where entitled people will make imaginative demands like this entitled neighbor who demanded nutless baklava or this customer who was furious that her plain omelet was just eggs. It's hard to tell if the incredible demands of entitled people are entertaining, just infuriating or some weird combination of the two.

Entitled people and their demands
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History Memes For Those Enlightened Lords Of Time

Ever meet someone, think their cool, and then discover that they have absolutely no understanding of what events and circumstances have shaped the world that they live in? What a shame. Sure, ignorance is bliss, but knowing where potatoes come from and why wars happen gives us the unyielding burden of our own context. Also knowing references lets us enjoy history memes for the historically inclined.

funny history memes and jokes about history
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People's Favorite Bits To Annoy Their Spouse

Just about every relationship is built on a strong foundation of the annoying things people's spouses do. Sometimes that's their inability to wrap extension cords correctly, and other times it's their insistence on introducing their current wife as "my ex girlfriend." We all have our jokes. Is love just the capacity to tolerate your partner's stupid bits? Seems like that's part of it.

funny stupid jokes people do to annoy their partner
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Weird Knockoffs and Off Brands That Aren't Fooling Anyone

Where else can you find a plush doll with the crossover appeal of Goku and Stone Cold Steve Austin other than in the world of bold bootlegs and absurd ripoffs? Where do you find a 2 dollar copy of "Grand Theft Auto 9: Vatican City" other than the marketplace of knockoffs and off brands? Only in this strange land of copyright shenanigans can we find someone with such a desperate need for brand recognition that they would name their store 9 Eleven.

funny bad product knockoffs
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Wholesome Memes To Hit The Feels Button

Sometimes all our computers and phones feel like boxes designed to make us angry and scared. That's a shame, since they can also be tools to remind us how generally people are pretty alright. For every entitled Karen who demands restitution for a kid's bike helmet scuffing her car bumper, there are tons of wholesome memes and blessed images to lighten up the mood. It's at least decent out there. People do wholesome things for the love of the game.

nice wholesome memes
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Hilariously Bad Marriage Advice To Not Follow

Relationships are hard, and good advice can be hard to come by, especially when the world is so full of dumb and bad life pro tips to not do. These folks were asked to embody the world's worst marriage counselor and give advice that would result in irredeemably fractured relationships. So just do the opposite of what's in here and you're probably good to go. For some more playful relationship disagreements like mis-cut waffles and tangled cords, here are the annoying things that people's spouses do.

funny bad marriage advice
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Woman Steals What She Thinks Is Pregnancy Test, Announces Pregnancy, Is Wrong

There's nothing quite like snooping through a stranger's cabinets, using their things, making a huge scene, being told to check your facts, getting defensive about it and then ending up being completely wrong. Where do they find people like this? For some more wildness, here are the worst houseguests people have experienced and a pregnant employee's shirt-tucking work revenge.

houseguest takes what she thinks is pregnancy test, announces pregnancy and is wrong about it
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Customer Demands Kilo of Meat To Be Weighed, Gets Less Meat

The guy went through all this to have his meal weighed so things would be "fair" and by god he got his fairness. A hilariously similar thing happened with this customer who demanded a pound of wings and got less wings. With sassier staff, customer demands can go really off the rails like this rude gentleman who demanded no ice and got less than that.

customer demands his meal weighed and gets less meat
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