A shoe store, a music store and Japanese restaurant started a sign war on the streets of Christianburg, Virginia. The gentle taunts and rhyming wordplay seem to have spread to other businesses via a Facebook group and the whole thing kind of took off. For sign joke aficionados, here are some sign jokes and some high class sign puns.
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It's a not-unheard-of occurrence in relationships: "either the dog goes or I go." People who set this kind of ultimatum often have a very uninformed view on how much people like their pets. If the cat has been around for 10 years and you've been around for 3 months, don't expect an outcome in your favor. That said, pets aren't always stoic beacons of morality. For example here's Prancer, the irredeemable dog and these pets who shamelessly wrecked stuff.
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Puns somehow inhabit the highest and lowest forms of humor at the same time. They're kind of like eggs. They can come in the form of fine, sought-after caviar, or they can get shot out of a chicken's ass for a dollar a dozen. There's no in between. Here are some dad jokes that go father than ever before.
It sucks to find yourself on the receiving end of a stupid rule, especially when it's an overzealous parenting decision. It's rare, but sometimes teens find a way to turn the tables, like this kid who rented out his stepmom's house after giving away his PS4. At least the parents ended up admitting defeat. When people can't see reason, it forces others to take stock of the power they have over a situation, like this dude who fought back when a store owner wouldn't change his phone number.
Those who don't know history are doomed to not understand dank history memes. So open a book, watch a documentary and scour Wikipedia if not only for the purpose of getting these sweet history memes for the ages. There's nothing more rewarding than knowing exactly why the Dutch spent so much on tulips, except maybe most things. With any luck we can use history memes to become one with time.
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Physical work can place us in some compromising positions. It's probably not worth it to straddle two ladders in the wind or pull some OSHA-defying boldness just so you can finish a job 20 minutes faster, but it's everyone's personal choice to risk your life for a few dollars. What really sucks is when you are aware of basic safety standards and your boss says "listen buddy, we've been storing oily rags next to the fritzy boiler for years, so quit being a pansy. Now grease up your hands and plunge them into the crusher." So here's to misguided safety failures that OSHA would disapprove of.
At the end of the day, what do we really thrive on? Well sure, food and shelter. But after that, what is at the top of our hierarchy of needs? Self actualization? Getting to sit in the good chair? Filthy T-shirts? Maybe what we truly crave is humorous observations in the form of hilarious and totally random tumblr gems. What's nicer than crude deconstructions of societal norms and self indulgent pop culture references? Who knows, we don't have time because we're too busy looking at tumblr gems uncovered from the deep.
It doesn't really matter what your personal beliefs about birthdays are, you don't exactly get to dictate other people's values after taking their stuff. Also, it's pretty safe to assume that eating a piece out of a kid's birthday cake before the candles go on isn't going to be taken as a minor inconvenience. Cake drama is real, like this entitled coworker who demanded a cake and issued threats, or this one pound cake Karen who was furious after getting what she wanted.
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It's a totally ubiquitous thing to say. "Why is this lasagna so good? Well of course, it's made with love." Well sometimes food is not made with love. Sometimes cursed food abominations make it obvious that there was something else in there. It stands to reason that if love can exist as an ingredient, hatred must exist as well. Sometimes it's a combination of apathy and incompetence in the case of horrible things people ate out of politeness, but other times, all it takes is a tablespoon of hatred.
As human beings, it's our duty to complete our jobs with the absolute minimum in mind. To some degree, we all pride ourselves on looking like we've done our jobs without making our general apathy and unprofessionalism too obvious. That said, we're not perfect and it can show in the form of "not my job" moments of dubious professionalism. But also, it's not like an upside-down stop sign is impossible to read.
Ever have a text correspondence with a friend and discover that they think the phrase "dog eat dog world" is pronounced "doggy dog world?" Ever read a comment section and discover that a different friend spells "calamity" as "clam city?" Spelling failures are a lot more common than you'd think. You could chalk it up to poor proofreading or the state of public schools, but the errors will persist. There's no escaping the impressively creative and dumb spelling fails of the world.
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Via Viral Now
Anyone who's ever ridden on a plane, seen a plane, or even heard about them is probably under the impression that they need a runway or at least some length of space to take off or land. With a strong enough headwind to slow the thing down, that's not always the case. Observe.
Working retail comes with a very special set of gripes unlike any other job. The entitled customers, utter Karens and bored scamming shoppers leave retail employees with a hollow dissatisfaction that makes one wonder if there are any sane people left on the planet. Secret or mystery shoppers are one of those interesting speed bumps that you wouldn't think would be infiltrated by the forces of Karenhood, but lo and behold, here we are.
It happened all the time. Some kid would start collecting walnuts that fell on school property, or a teacher would ban rubber bands, and all of a sudden there was a new schoolyard black market. It was a confusing, weird and stupid lesson in basic economics. For those aching for simpler times, here are the school memes for the mostly educated.
Via Gabe White
We've all had bad days where we don't care about our jobs, but that lady really let that package fall with thousand resonations of "I don't give a damn." In what couldn't be better PR for the US Postal Service, we've got a dude who goes out of his way to undo the shoddy work done by his FedEx predecessor and get the other packages out of the rain. Thanks, mail dude.
The fun thing about entitled people is that they never really seem to understand why everyone takes issue with their "suggestions." From this entitled mom who tried to swindle a babysitter to the many Karens of the world, what feels like it should be a learning experience never becomes one. The abusive landlords, demanding neighbors, insane bosses and random craigslist buyers out there just keep doing their thing, unfazed by the mountains of regular people telling them they're being ridiculous.
