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Tumblr Thread: The Spikey Insanity of The Lantern Shield

Tumblr has got a raging petard for medieval battle tactics and the consensus seems to be that what the past lacked in sanitation, it made up for with cool swords and unconventional weapons. Sometimes you see some gizmo an Italian blacksmith threw together six hundred years ago and all you can think is "that is badass." Who knew history could be fun.

Tumblr thread about the medieval weapon the lantern shield.
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People's Favorite Somewhat Obscure Jokes

May these aid you in your hunt for new jokes to impress your friends who you've already told all your good jokes to. Everyone's heard the "chicken crossed the roads" and "why the long faces" of the world, so here are people's go-to "you probably haven't heard this one before" jokes. In addition to theses, here are some pun-tastic dad jokesand jokes people love that no one else does

funny jokes that people probably haven't heard
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Absurd Stranger Gets All Tough Over 20 Dollars

The world has its fair share of entitled folks and their frustrating demands, but sometimes it gets worse than someone just wanting a discount for no reason. Sometimes people's approach to haggling is writing out their intent to come over to your house and mess you up. It's pretty stupid. For another ridiculous person who wanted a deal, here's a choosing beggar raging after rejection and getting shut down again.

Stranger threatens guy over price of service.
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The Time a Student Got Their Professor's Name Incredibly Wrong

Back in school, many of us were tempted to write a goofy fake name or have a bunch of stupid place holding statements in essays like "Dumb evidence goes here god dammit." More times than we'd like to admit, we remembered and deleted them moments before turning in said essay. This time a student actually turned it in, tried to save themselves with an apology, and the professor had a sense of humor about it. It's not too far-fetched, teachers have to deal with dumb essays all the time.

Student turns in essay with joke name for professor
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Times People Tried and Failed at Words

Not only are words hard to spell, sometimes they're also hard to think of. For example, there are times when you can picture the image of a woodpecker in your head but the only thing that comes out is "jackhammer bird." When someone can't think of how to spell "spaghetti" they get extremely creative and come up with misspellings that feel like a kick in the dictionary.

spelling fails and funny misspellings
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This may come as a surprise to some, but apparently everyone wearing white is a very big deal(?) and "the wardrobe girls will be furious downstairs." The host goes as far to make her guest put on a jacket so that it's...better? It all plays out like a scene from Mean Girls.

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Karen asks Grown Man to Mow Her Lawn for $10

Apparently you don't even have to be in a store for a Karen to look down on you. Seems like Karen saw this dude mowing his lawn, decided he was a kid working for a lawn mowing service and went from there. For some more Karen stories, here's one about a Canadian giant humbling a grocery store Karen as well as a Karen customer who got defeated with kindness.

Story of Karen who thought guy mowing his lawn was a kid at a lawn mowing service | r/IDontWorkHereLady Posted by u/Alyksandur 6 days ago not lawn mowing service. XL (First time poster and usually listen these on YouTube don't have clue formatting works. Also, this may not be perfect sub this story, but still has right kind vibe This one actually happened last year, but short enough still remember pretty clearly live very small town where everybody can more or less recognize everybody else by si
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Strange Junk People Tried Selling Online

You can never truly know why someone is posting an ad online. It could be that they wanted to sell their art or share their craftsmanship. Sometimes they just want to make a joke or totally freak out strangers. Whether it's a baby doll/arachnid hybrid or a tortilla shaped like Lincoln, people won't stop trying to sell bizarre stuff online.

Weird things people tried selling on craigslist and online marketplaces | Treadmill sander 50 image 1 3 This is treadmill used as sander installed 100 grit sanding belt on works great as substitute drum sander or large belt sander used flatten an end grain cutting board | Pealed Cucumbers Filled With Hotdogs $175 Listed over week ago Knoxville, TN Send seller message Hi Gavin, is this still available? Send Message Save Share More Seller Information See Profile
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Times at School a Popular Kid Destroyed Their Reputation

There was always a sort of extended leniency toward crap that popular kids could get away with, but sometimes they either flew too close to the sun or played a part in some high school's "incident". Sometimes it wasn't even up to them, but that's just how things shake out sometimes. Sometimes they come back for round two and make high school reunions awkward.

Stories of what the popular kid at school did that made them lose popularity | shaneo88 10.2k points 1 day ago Having set keys given him by school (wtf know) because he one really popular kids, then using those keys break into school and steal $30KAUD woodworking/metalworking tools
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Who cares about cats or whatever else pets people have when you could watch these little lords of trash open-mouth chew some bananas. God it sounds weird it's like a typewriter made of mouths.

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IV Tech Lets Absurd Patient Think He's the Janitor

This one is partly on the patient and partly on the hospital. It's like that classic joke where a patient gets poked and prodded by random dude in a doctor's coat. Sometimes people's expectations and rudeness precede them, like this customer kept asking for a man, and he ended up in the legal department.

Qualified Hospital employee gives patient care, she thinks he's the garbage man | r/MaliciousCompliance Posted by u/Truthislife13 22 hours ago Medical care provided by garage man oc M finished my PhD middle terrible recession, and having hard time finding permanent job stayed afloat financially by adjunct teaching (low pay, no benefits) and by doing whatever odd jobs could find volunteer EMT at time, and friend able get night shift job local hospital as an IV technician. Strictly speaking should
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Things that Happen to Look like Other Things

Sometimes it's too hard to fight your brain, and you just have to accept that you thought the top some lady's head looks like Oscar the grouch. These and other double-take-inducing photos of skewed perspective are enough to make you think about whether or not your eyes are actually on your side.

Stuff that looks like faces and other things | slice of banana with a shape resembling the face of a dog | woman wearing a headband and sunglasses over her head looking down so that her head looks like a muppet's face
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Tumblr Thread: Reconstructed Historical Figures and How They'd Be

With the ability to digitally reconstruct what historical figures would look like with modern style, it makes sense that the first thing people would do would be to judge how that person would act in a bagel store. For more history that puts things in a more human context, here's a Tumblr thread on a dude actually having fun in an old picture as well as a thread about depicting prehistoric people as cool dudes.

Tumblr thread about judging historical figures in modern fashion | unpretty ROYALTY_NOW_ julius caesar as just Some Dude is tripping out facial reconstruction from a bust
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Tumblr Thread: Cool Dentist Who Doesn't Give A Heck

Staring into people's mouths all day has gotta be a bummer, so it's fun to hear about a dentist who takes their job as seriously as a bored Walmart employee. For more weird stuff that happened on the job, here's a pizza deliverer's list of strange people they've met, as well as more people who didn't give a heck.

Tumblr thread about the funny things a person's dentist has said | filledwiththislight Things my dentist has actually said Well, either x-rays lied or are spontaneously creating teeth going with second one because 's way cooler."
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Ungrateful Psycho Boss Gets Instant Karma

In one fell swoop of anger, this boss managed to lose his entire digital marketing department, and had no way to dig himself out. Sometimes bosses forget that their employees are human beings, who actually have the capacity to ruin their day, like this boss who tried to play an employee, or this boss who tried to play Alpha.

Employee quits, boss get karma | r/MaliciousCompliance Posted by u/beerbellybegone 4 days ago Boss: Think about whether want keep working here OK don't ocL Apologies if English isn't perfect s not my native tongue. Nearly two years ago started work at Company as their digital marketing person. After started turned out brought put out fires left by my predecessor VP Marketing, who had team 4 plus himself, spent over $1 million one year and brought 5 deals, 2 them under $10K.
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A Bounty of Funny Tweets to Heap onto that Day

Twitter is at times a bundle of arguments just screaming over each other, but mostly it's just people's weird and extremely specific thoughts, weird scenarios and random funny tweets bouncing into each other. For more thoughts and bits of internet, here are some strange and random bits of Tumblr gold.

Funny tweets | clean slate @PleaseBeGneiss Do sharks play harmonica like this or this harmonica pressed to a shark's mouth and to a shark's gills
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