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What do we do with useless garbage? Obviously, try to sell that weird junk online. Does anyone need an extended lawnmower or thousands of empty cans of Mountain Dew? Who knows, but maybe someone will find a use for it. Got a horrible or weird art project like baby planters or dog wigs?Try to sell that ridiculous junk too. Who could it hurt by asking?

All in all it's good to know that it's possible to weave a wicker toilet. It's not clear exactly what it's for, but it definitely counts as an impressive creation of dubious taste. Everyone has their own style, and whether that's golden hot dog statues or chest tattoos of Scooby Doo, there's always someone out there willing to make an extremely competent version of it. They may be of questionable taste, but they're definitely impressive creations.

Take an idea. Make it a stupid one. Now cast it into the collective subconscious of creative weirdos and let them pick it apart like a thousand hagfish boiling out of a month-dead whale's eye socket. Congrats, that's pretty close to hilarious and totally random tumblr gems one might find zooming around the interwebs. They'refunny, random, shiny and gem-like.

Why do dads love puns? Because the other jokes they want to say are so disrespectful and abhorrently filthy that if they said them, no one would trust them with children. You make do with what you have. In the end, we have punny dad jokes that go father than ever before. So throw on those jeans, pile the kids into the car, drive to the soccer game and patiently sit through daderrific dad jokes that just nailed it.

What began as the irreverant jokes and puns of Pakalu Papito has taken on a second life of its own. The original Pakalu Papito was a totally invented twitter account, and sort of morphed into this, another invented dude with the same profile picture. Xavier doesn't exactly exist as a physical person, but more as a spirit of commenting. A state of being, if you will. Transcendent. Here are some more clever comebacks and rare insults.

Employees have to deal with a lot of ridiculous customer demands that make work frustrating, but sometimes people just want something really weird. Paint and hardware stores specifically will have people walking in nonstop with random objects whose color struck them as something they would want all over their walls for the foreseeable future. This extends to soap, dirt, melons and body parts.

Every so often, inanimate objects have a whole lot of personality. What starts as a leaf or pile of bubbles can look like a really cool guy. Honestly there are some piles of rocks out there who seem like a great hang. Sometimes inanimate objects just look like other stuff. Deceptive little inanimate objects, trying to trick us. Go back to being things, stuff.

Do people even like puns? The answer is a very complicated "it depends." The important thing to remember about puns and wordplay is that they can never be medium stupid. They have to be very stupid in order to be somewhat enjoyable. Luckily there are a whole lot of very stupid puns out there. Emotions happen upon the sight of Mr. Bean's face slapped over the Beastie Boys, with accompanying puns. Complex emotions. At least those emotions aren't as confusing as the ones that arise when looking at weird and awkward album covers.

As intelligent people, it's our collective prerogative to do as little work as possible while looking like we're still maintaining some semblance of qualtity conmptrol. The "not my job" moments that surround us serve as a reminder that even if we do our jobs horribly, stupidly wrong, if your boss doesn't notice and a customer/client doesn't complain, then you're good to go.

A story can kind of be about anything can't it? All it takes is a short writing prompt about a demon getting summoned by a grandma and the wheels of Tumblr start to turn. Good old Todd. For more tales about Tumblr's obsession with wholesome and absurd stories of the occult, here are angels and demons bonding over sandwiches and the tale of neighbor Steve and the abominations.

For some reason the prospect of a deal brings out the absolute worst in people. And what's the deal with strangers claiming to be "the customer" as if this person selling their laptop is the customer service wing of Staples? What a mess. For more idiots trying to bully people for the sake of a deal, here's an unhinged lowballer having a meltdown and an entitled mom who tried to swindle the babysitter.

It's unclear why someone would be so hostile to a complete stranger, but it seems like this guy got upset because he didn't know what an OLED tv was and instead of asking or googling it, he took the third, most exciting path. The path of hurling insults the way a frustrated stinking ape throws wet feces at things it doesn't understand. What is this guy on? For more, here's an entitled mom who tried to swindle a babysitter and a Karen bride who canceled their wedding, kept the money and vaporized all bridges.

Alright, fine. Linguistics majors who've taken their 100 level courses will tell you that language is an everchanging thing and that as long as someone has communicated something effectively, it counts as effective human communication. But they're not talking about the extremely dumb spelling fails that we all see every day. Calling a terrarium a "terrorism" isn't a profound shift in language as we know it, it's someone who didn't want to Google "thing my turtle lives in" and settled on the closest bowl of word salad that autocorrect wouldn't slide a red squiggly line under. Here are more spelling failures that really shift the bed.