lol

It's another episode in the wide world of mailbox drama. The rule was that mailboxes had to be 6 feet from the street, but no one specified in which direction. There's probably no way anyone could get away with this now, but that's what the past is for. What can we say except loopholes are great. Here's a dad's masterfully designed Basketball Loophole and these other loopholes people exploited for years.

Can it even be called a "living" room if there's no toilet in there? "Not my job" moments surround us, thanks to our tendency to not want to do our jobs correctly. Sure, that means a lot of way-too-low ceiling fans and stop signs that say "go" but do you think you could do better? Well you probably could. Thanks to these moments of professional inadequacy we can all feel like we'd do a better job.

Like anyone else, our best years are behind us. Or at least they seem that way, since human beings are pretty much psychologically incapable of remembering things accurately. We all want to look back at our VHS tapes and dangerous toys and say that's when we had it all figured out or "young people could never understand this," but in the end it's really just a way of dating yourself. But hey, that's nostalgia, baby.

It's a crying shame that the world is so full of tasty-looking temptations that look like food but aren't. There are beds that look like ice cream sandwiches, snakes that look like bananas, and boxes of mop heads that look like ground beef. If only we had the digestive capacity to enjoy a mop-burger, but alas. Things that look like tasty food surround us.

Yeah, we have responsibilities and goals, but every day we all have moments of boredom that must be destroyed. Tumblr gemscan temporarily muffle the voice in all of our heads that screams "why am I here?" Sure it's only a temporary fix, but nothing is really permanent in life anyway. So we do our best with tumblr gems to quench the forever thirst.

English is a big amorphous blob of a language, and it's difficult to say the right things even when you care about what you're saying. Throw in the fact that a lot of people only know some of it add a dash of "good enough" and you've got yourself some blunderous failures of the English language. But at least there's the consolation that if you want to buy a shirt that says "Pervert" in big red letters, you have options.

 It's the worst feeling when a company tries to screw you over with a fraudulent fee and just expects you to pay it to make the problem (they created) go away. That's why it's so satisfying to see people push back against unfairness in any way they can, like this guy who got hounded for trivial debt and sent them a dime or this guy who battled a store owner who wouldn't change his phone number.

Math is hard for some folks on tumblr, but sometimes they really get into it, like the time they did the math on forging a literal blood sword. It's super common to see a headline along the lines of "smoking drywall dust increases risk of boneitis by 300%" which sounds extremely scary. But that number only means something if you know the potential boneitis risks of drywall smoking in the first place. We're not super good at math, but if the risk is only .05% and an increase of 300% raises it to .2%, just go ahead and smoke all the drywall dust you want.

don't smoke drywall dust. Also boneitis is a fictional disease from Futurama.

It could be caused by inebriation, tiredness or just our own lack of mental faculties, but we get bad ideas. Sometimes our ideas are phenomenal, but that's only because we've just "invented" something that already exists. As stupid as our brilliant thoughts are, we can all have faith that even a stupid thing we invent could be used for something other than its intended purpose.

It doesn't feel very good to be outsmarted. But at at the same time, it's worth having a chance to be the one doing the outsmarting. All we can really do is hedge our bets and try to be the outsmarter more often than the outsmarted. Of course it's often impossible to tell when you've been outsmarted, so maybe we're all just a bunch of fumbling rubes. For some brilliance in the form of bold shenanigans, here are some mad lads who made the world their big briny oyster.

It's totally fine to not get a joke. We all have slow days or miss references or just don't wanna read. But when you're the kind of person who doesn't get a joke and then goes and calls someone an idiot because you didn't understand it, then buddy, you've just joined the ranks of mistaken bozos who didn't get jokes. Enjoy your fiefdom of crap from your throne of poor reading comprehension. Here's more people who aggressively didn't get the joke.

Like anyone else, if you sit with your own thoughts for more than 5 minutes, you tend to get scared and upset. With that, we've decided that a constant flow of funny tweets to build character and cultivate strength are a good way to avoid our own horrible thoughts. Seriously our internal monologues sound like a barn fire. Anyway, here are some funny tweets to quote at parties in lieu of having a personality.

If only we could all be so inspired to measure once and not even cut, to never read the directions, and treat orders like the suggestions they really are. On that day, we could all truly be free. Free to live in a place where nothing really works as intended. But at least we wouldn't have to try very hard. And that world of "not my job" would be a beautiful one. Yes, the stop signs would face the wrong way and the toilet would drain directly into the downstairs bathtub, but it would be a "not my job" paradise.

Hey, not all of us have the patience to read books or take salsa lessons, so it comes to this. There's nothing quite like being at a party going "that reminds me of a funny tweet I saw" and then totally butchering the idea so it's not funny anymore. You've accidentally missed the point and made it too dirty. Then the one person you kind of know goes "mhm yeah totally." That's what we call a social win. Here's more funny tweets and tumblr gems to quote later and some extra tweets to build character and cultivate strength.