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Dumbest Lies Friends Told To Impress That Failed Terribly

Someone on AskReddit asked for people to share the dumbest lies they heard told by other folks, that ended up failing terribly. Some folks get so caught up in weaving the webs of their own lies, that it almost seems like they themselves are believing the lies that they're saying. 

A collection of the dumbest lies that people's friends told that failed miserably.
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Spelling Failures that Really Ate a Dictionary

Spelling is hard, and we see a lot of spelling fails that would make the dictionary quit. It gets harder when you hear a word or phrase a bunch of times without ever reading it, so you have to make up your own phonetic spelling. And that's how you get so many folks living in a doggy dog world. Then sometimes you get small typos that mean a lot, like when a sign suddenly turns a beach into "pubic access." Sometimes spelling fails make us question public schools.

Dumb spelling fails | Facebook Swap Shop Yesterday at 6:05 PM looking an autistic guitar $20 58 39 Comments O Like Comment Damn dude all have are eclectics
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Witty and Stupid Jokes that are Technically Correct

Whether they're overly literal or just a really astute observation, these clever and dumb jokes are technically correct. You could say that they make no actual sense, are the wrong way to do things, and most of them are basically stupid, but these jokes are still technically accurate.

Puns, moments and jokes that are technically correct | thyrell necromancer is just really late healer thyrell too late, doc, he's he's already dead cracks knuckles didnt get my medical license revoked nothing
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Via MemeTok
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Turns out you don't need a full orchestra to recreate the sound of a movie about to start. You just need a frying pan and...what is that, eggs? Next do the THX sound on breakfast.

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Wonderfully Unprofessional "Not My Job" Moments

When people decide a particular task is above or below their pay grade or not their responsibility, you get some interesting moments out of the deal. You get manholes in sandboxes, completely unusable fans, and newspaper headlines like "Headline Goes Here." It's like people are built to fail at their one job and create some masterful design failures.

Improperly installed things and badly done jobs | painting white road markings over a dead squid lying on the ground | pillar with a piece carved out of it to allow a ceiling fan to rotate through it
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Attempts that Careened Into a Ditch of Failure

Life is a series of various attempts. Whatever you're doing, it starts with a try. You might be trying to make a point online, or trying to make a nice sign for your place of business. You might be trying to ride a bike or relate to your fans. Sometimes these attempts hit the ground with the sound of failure.

memes and moments of failed attempts | tweet by Nicole @nicoleslaaww My Uber profile says deaf so get into Uber's usually just sign hello them and don't speak anymore but this Uber driver just called someone and said "this deaf bitch just got so can talk minute" Imfaooo
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Sadly Mistaken People Who Didn't Get Satire

Most of us understand a tongue-in-cheek reference from a well known satirical news network, but sadly, there are those among us who just don't get the joke, or worse, believe the absurdity and pass it off as actual news. It's sadly too common to see a sorely mistaken person not get satire, like an aunt who actually believes scientists have made a voice activated grapefruit.

Mistaken people who didn't understand joke news | Hard Drive O @HardDriveMag 19h Heartwarming: Pregnant Woman Gives Up Subway Seat Gamer Playing Switch O Donot lean on door D Donot leaon doo Heartwarming: Pregnant Woman Gives Up Subway Seat Gamer Playing Switch thehardtimes.net 57 t1,442 O 8,768 Replying HardDriveMag Shouldn't gamer have given up their seat pregnant woman? This isn't really heartwarming
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Sign's Pun Game is Too On Point

The sign for the Indian Hills Community Center has a long history of having a pun game that's too strong. There's something weirdly quaint about a sign with good puns. For some more quality puns, here's a smattering of puns to fill the pun void.

A funny sign has puns on it | INDIAN HILL COMMUNITY CENTER IRONY OPPOSITE WRINKLY
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Spelling So Bad It's Creative

We live in a world where spelling doesn't seem to be a high priority, and that leads us to some spelling fails that would make the dictionary quit. These invented words are definitely decipherable, but also a little embarrassing. Sometimes these spelling fails make us question public schools.

Funny misspelled words on signs | fried catfist | CHOCOLATE NOW $0.87 1.20 Almojoy 45g Crunchie 44g Spunow 49g SKOR 39g SICKERS 52g SpundW Dove 40g DARK CHOCOLATE butter NICKERS 52G COFF NHE Eat.More 52g WUNDER BAR 58g 58g
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Bored Dude Offers to Fight Strangers Over Text

Everyone deals with social distancing differently. Some people are spending more time over video chat with their families. Others are holed up watching documentaries about crazy private zoo owners. This guy, Brad, texted strangers offering to get in a fight. Here are a few of them.

Funny guy offers to fight strangers over text | Bonjourno My name is Brad and due this social distancing bored AF so l'm texting random numbers pick fights have had 7 kids there isn't fight l'd lose Jesus bet pee little every time laugh or cough? Delivered made laugh loud iMessage
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Ridiculous and Sometimes Insightful Things Said by Kids

Livefromsnacktime features the stupid, weird and sometimes insightful things kids say. Kids are basically weird and dumb, which means they often have intriguing and out-of-the-box crap to say. We love the sound of no one talking too, Anonymous 6 year old.

Funny, interesting and silly quotes from kids | been having hard day last two years anonymous, 4 years old @LiveFromSnackTime
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Terrible Kitchen Designs Hatched From The Heart Of Failure

We're not sure who was behind these design fails. It looks like the thinking process that went into drafting and ultimately bringing the designs to life, was all kinds of muddled. The resulting creations is one big glob of fail. It really is like some kind of Sims game in real life, and naturally, it's absurd. 

A collection of kitchen design fails | small old fashioned kitchen bathroom combination green cabinets and tiled walls with a shower and a washing machine between the kitchen appliances
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Here's a quaint tale of a man's new dog-proof fence. It has a beginning, middle and end all encompassed in a riveting 18 seconds.

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Absurd Things People Said In Complete Seriousness

Most of us have been in a situation where we've laughed at the wrong time. Maybe someone gave you outlandish news, or said something so completely stupid that anyone with decent social skills would assume that they're joking. These people were not joking. You remember those moments when someone says something dumb and you just laugh at them. For some sweet failure, here are classic facepalm moments of dumbness.

Times people said something so strange or dumb that others thought they were joking | closettransman 2.1k points 2 days ago edited 1 day ago "Is there J alphabet This year 12 student. Her name Judith. Edit This rural Australia. No other languages other than English. No religion. No accent other than Aussie. No other cultural background.
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Moments that Go to Show How Kids are Weird and Dumb

There's no question about it. Kids are bizarre and stupid people. They don't know how things work, can't pay attention, and are easy to trick. We know they're idiots because we were kids too, and we were idiots. They'll get stuck in trees, run into stuff and stare at the sun. It's not hard to prove that kids are weird and dumb.

Funny fails of kids doing strange and stupid things | teaboot playing volleyball gym with kids and this little boy got hit head and like "oh geez okay dude' and he just said 'Yeah real strong watch this' and punched himself face teaboot said be gentle with his brain and he told no really 's okay look' and had physically block him slamming his forehead into brick wall teaboot Superman's preschool teachers all deserved raises
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Tattoo Artists Share Requests They Refused

Someone on AskReddit asked for tattoo artists to describe their experiences with rejecting people's tattoo requests. Sometimes the tattoo artist ends up being a kind of gatekeeper, from letting the stupid spontaneous decisions from getting through. 

Tattoo artists on AskReddit share stupid requests they turned down | reddit posted by HouseTarg Ex Bf tattoo artist An automatic no is my partners names tattooed here Bloke came asking have Melissa massive letters tattooed around his neck asked why, he said because she dumped him 2 weeks ago.
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