To try at anything is to willingly give yourself over to potential failure. These people lost and fails resulted. Thank goodness for us. 

Our thoughts go out to these deeply infuriated souls. 

Contextualization wouldn't have even helped some of these. 

Watch the sparks fly! And then fizzle out! And then say a half-assed pun and try to leave the conversation!

You can't choose when it'll happen to you. Just be glad that it's probably not happening right now.

Writer @KeatonPatti has given birth to these bizarre and hilarious re-captions of items found on Antiques Roadshow. He's also the mind behind numerous fake Bot-written scripts like this hilarious Olive Garden Commercial. Anyway, here are some bonkers-ass antiques.