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Dad-Level Jokes That Are Bigger And Father Than Ever

Be they horribly clever or just horrible, we never fail to enjoy the dad jokes that go father than ever before. Why do dads love puns? Probably because any other funny thing they have to say would most likely be about your mom or make you want to barf. So for everyone's comfort and safety, we have dad jokes that deliver dad shelf humor. For a dad bein' a real dad about things, here's a Tumblr thread on a wholesome and hilarious dad.

funny dad jokes and puns
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16 Funny, Strange, And Cringeworthy Tinder Moments

Tinder's established quite the impressive reputation for being a home to all kinds of ridiculous and shameless pickup lines. It's a wild west of sorts, where people go to say the things to other people that they'd otherwise never be caught out in public saying -- let alone on a date. With all of that being said though, every now and again people actually seem to make some meaningful connections. It probably helps if you're like the dude who went ahead and made his literal bio a Powerpoint presentation. I just hope that nobody mistakenly swiped left on his bio because they were trying to flip through his presentation. 

A collection of funny, strange, and downright shameless moments from the wild world of Tinder.
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Dumbest Things People Have Done On Auto Pilot

We're all susceptible to brain farts. You know, those moments when the lights upstairs temporarily turn off and you end up catching yourself in the middle of a dauntingly mindless act. It's almost like a glitch in the matrix kind of moment. One moment you seem to have your act together, maybe getting yourself ready for a productive day at work, and then suddenly you find yourself dropping your phone into a cup of coffee when you meant to be pouring creamer in there. 

People describe the absolute dumbest things that they ended up doing on auto pilot.
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Funny Tweets To Build Character And Cultivate Strength

Can other people's anecdotes and tweets motivate us to become better people? The answer is a resounding "maybe, but probably not." That said, there are many funny tweets and tumblr gems to quote later that could definitely make you a hit at a party for about 45 seconds. Sure it's 45 seconds, but what a wonderful 45 seconds. So there's that. And also sick Tweets from the Twitterverse.

funny tweets and jokes from twitter
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Wife Proposes Open Marriage, Furious That Husband Gets Date First

It goes to show that open relationships are best reserved for people who are actually capable of maturely dealing with all the possible outcomes of such an arrangement. Honestly, that probably rules out a lot of us. We're still out here trying to not have dates so bad we go "screw this I'm out." For some more drama, here's the woman who stole a pregnancy test, announced her pregnancy, and was wrong. For marks of healthier relationships, here are people's favorite bits to annoy their spouses.

wife proposes open relationship and is furious when husband goes on date
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Goofs and Blunders That Should Have People Rethinking Their Choices

We are people, and we are the proud glowing, mothers of our own blunders, goofs, mistakes and chaos. Observe as we huff and puff, screaming in agony as we push out these facepalm moments made possible by the brutally stupid. And stand there dumbfounded as we drive home with a brand new wet, crying misfortune Monday, available on alternating Mondays, sometimes.

funny mistakes, errors and blunders
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Lousy Interviewee Tries To Lie Their Way Into Job, Company Sees Through It

Trying to blow that smoke during an interview is a surefire way to lose credibility and respect from whoever is interviewing you, right off the bat. The thing about the game of lies is that it can oftentimes be very easy to see right through by the people that have a decent enough grasp on their senses. In the case of interviewee "X", their whole schtick didn't end up working out too well for them at all. It sounds like they were just the kind of employee that multiple companies didn't particularly enjoy having around. Hopefully they learned their lesson. For some more juicy tech support drama check out the time that a company continually demanded a password, how tech support said no, and then the drama that ensued.

A lousy interviewee tries to lie their way into a job, and it ends up failing miserably.
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Sketchy Business Gets Called Out, Accuses Freelancer of Being a "Shyster"

Here we have a business trying to get a dude to work on a "trial basis" essentially giving them the ability to fire him and take credit for anything he does for them. Just so happens that like any other entitled folk, they aren't happy about it. What a bunch of gagoots. And saying you're "willing" to not pay someone is almost like if someone tried to Jedi mind trick you without using the force so it's just a jackass in a bathrobe waving his hands around. For some true shyster behavior, here's the entitled mom of 4 who tried to swindle her babysitter.

business tries to "overlook" paying freelancer, calls him shyster
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Most Unexplainable Things That Ever Happened To People

Life is a mysterious matter. Oftentimes we allow ourselves to get caught up so deeply in our daily routines that we conveniently forget that every moment we're pretty much living on the edge of unpredictable chaos. You very well might've already had your own glitch in the matrix moment. Or maybe these people's stories about the strangest things that ever happened to them will leave you with just a little bit more wonder about this whole crazy little thing called existence. 

People describe the most unexplainable things that ever happened to them.
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Hilariously Specific Times People And Stuff Got Singled Out

There are times when the universe chooses one person and says "it's your day, buttercup." Sometimes it's totally merited when people and things are singled out, other times it's completely random. But at least it's always interesting when you walk into an establishment and there's a sign that says "welcome everyone except Todd and you know why." It's just one of those humorously absurd times people and things got singled out.

specific and funny times people and stuff got singled out
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First Dates That Made People Go "Screw This I'm Out"

It's really honestly not that hard to not be a horrible date. As long as you have basic hygiene, pay some attention to the other person and refrain from telling that one story (you know the one), you're probably going to be okay. With that said, people have some pretty bad first dates. Here are some other times people had "screw this I'm out" moments.

dating fail stories
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"Very Important" Man Demands AC Turned Off In Mid Summer

It just so happens that the people who demand things the loudest are most often the people who know the least about what they want. But hey, he's a very important man, so what he says goes. Here's a Karen who demanded exact change, then got upset when she got it. There's just no pleasing some people.

Important boss demands AC turned off in summer
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Delectably Tidy Things That Fit Perfectly

Why is it so satisfying when something fits so perfectly? Maybe we just like to see an efficient use of space? Maybe it's because seeing something fit like a glove makes us believe, even for a second, that some things are just meant to be. Like, there's some kind of divine force weaving the fabric of space and time together in a way that's actually neat and tidy. Maybe it makes us feel like there's actually order and meaning to our lives, and we're not all chaos, like a thousand pinballs bouncing into each other at random. Or maybe not. Here are some satisfying images of aesthetic perfection.

satisfying times things fit perfectly
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Via IslandTee
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This guy's enthusiasm is infectious. He's all passion, baby. That deep stream must've been brimming with gratitude over all the love that it was given. 

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These elephants seals weren't playing around when it came to going to war over another seal that'd caught both their fancy. The sounds that they're making pretty much stop you in your tracks. The earth must've been rumbling and grumbling underneath all of that gargantuan movement. 

Via ShOrTZ
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We thought our interest in liquid nitrogen would end in high school, but clearly it hasn't, because we're watching grime boil at room temperature while hooting like morons. Will we compare every sentient-looking mass to Venom forever? Yes. Does that make us look like uncultured cretins? You bet your doodle. Does this look wacky nonetheless? Yes also.