Well, she's more of an ex-girlfriend at this point.

Excellent play.

I contain multitudes.

Life often presents us with great difficulties that seek to try out every measure of wit. Checking the time on a digital clock is not one of these things. The digital clock has removed all effort and skill required to tell the time, and even that was taught at a first-grade level. Inexplicably, this guy is absolutely unwilling and unable to lift his phone in the middle of the night, press the button to turn it on, and then scan his eyes across the screen to tell the time. He would rather wake h…

That's nice.

I'm not here

Get outta here, dullness.

Give me a sign.

Great work.

Let's face it. You spend your youth and teenage years just waiting for the freedom you associate with being an adult… Doing whatever you want, eating ice cream whenever you want, buying as many packs of Pokemon cards as you wish. But when you get there, it doesn't live up to the paradise you dreamt it would be. Food is expensive, work sucks, half your paycheck goes to taxes, and whatever is left then goes to rent. And that's just scraping the surface. There's no wonder that we suddenly see thin…

Heck yeah.

This insurance guy was approached by a recruiter for an insurance sales position at a company. Despite his repeated protests that he was overqualified for the role they were hiring for, they refused to take no for an answer and aggressively entered him into the interview process. As the interview progressed, it became increasingly clear that the hiring managers had no idea what they were on about. They repeatedly handed him wrong information and asked him to do things that he knew were complete…

So close.

They're getting there.

High schoolers make up rumors. Sometimes, though, those rumors turn out to be true.

Want to sell the appearance that you're walking to the conference room for an important meeting and definitely not slipping out the backdoor to go home at 2 pm?