Having to use Startup Repair once is bad enough, but if you have to do it again a few days later, you need a new computer. #LFMF

Always check all jeans pockets for cash, especially when you thought earlier when you put that cash in that pocket that you mustn't forget it before a wash. Make sure that this month you aren't broke either.

Good idea: Going to the vote page after submitting a fail to see it. Bad idea: Not getting the catch that, whenever you post a fail, that fail and all the ones submitted three days afterward will rarely appear.

Okay, so you just found out that your new boss watches a show that you like. Don't assume that he has watched as much as you have. Giving away spoilers is one of the quickest ways to get on somebody's bad side. #LFMF

When having a s**t, make sure you sit forward or you will lean back and the back of the toilet WILL be covered in brown stuff. #LFMF

Never shave your balls when you're in a pissy mood. Just don't. #LFMF

Even if you think that the cactus behind your table at the Texas Roadhouse is fake, it is still not a good idea to poke it. Cacti naturally look like plastic and cactus needles will naturally stick to your hand when touched. #LFMyFriend'sDad'sF