Good idea: Thoroughly disinfecting the bathroom after your cat has an accident (or 3) Ok idea: uUoom. Crap idea: Using diluted bleach to clean the bathroom when you are extremely sensitive to ammonia. #LFMmigraineF
You may be the biggest Doctor Who fan ever, but never watch the episode "Blink" right before you go to bed. Especially if you have a cat. #LFMF
Great Idea- Taking yourself and newlywed wife to a beach for a honeymoon. Good Idea- Shaving face, back, shoulders and "down bellow" area (for sexytimes). Another Good Idea- Going to the beach for a swim. Terrible Idea- Going to the beach right after shaving. Your body will feel as if it were engulfed in the flames of Oblivion. #LFMF
When you are asked by a French photographer to have your picture taken in the street, do not tell your overly paranoid mother the next day. She has watched Taken and you will spend the next ten minutes calming her down. #LFMF
If you usually keep your nails cut short because you have a tendency to scratch your arms and face at night, it's a good idea to take off those fake nails you put on before a party. Especially if you're planning to stay the night and don't want to get woken up at some absurd hour of the morning from your friend screaming blue murder when she sees patches of dried blood all over your face. #LFMF
When eating strawberry yogurt while browsing the internet at work, please try to notice if some yogurt falls in your lap. One of your employees will be concerned about your health when you walk by covered in red goop, and you will spend the next several hours looking like you peed yourself -LFMF
Don't give your 3 year old daughter, who still puts everything in her mouth, a penny to play with. #LFMyHusbandsFail
If your chemistry teacher feels like having a "fun" lab and teaches the class how to make bouncy balls, do NOT throw it while in the lab. You cannot make the ball perfectly round (at least with the most common method used by chemistry classes) and it will go all over the place, including into the glass containers that hold the lab's acids. #LFMClassmate'sF
Don't fap during a thunderstorm. your house will get struck by lightning and you will not be very prepared to put out the fire. #LFMF
If you're waiting for a chance to see the new Batman movie and you don't want spoilers, then you should probably stay out of the superheroes section of Memebase for a while. #LFMF
If you want to be romantic and buy $100 worth of fireworks because the girl you like was on vacation out of the country on the 4th of July, be sure she's not going to friendzone you after your awesome fireworks display. #LFMF
When chewing gum, remember you are wearing a surgical mask before blowing a bubble. #LFMF
Girls, while shaving your legs, you'll probably want to use your non-razor hand at the same time to slide along and check for smoothness. Just don't get too close; it's all too easy to come along with the razor, catch a fingernail of the other hand, and rip it right down to the skin. #LFMF
Never ever write down something on a whiteboard with a PERMANENT marker. #LFMF
Never play peek-a-boo with a dog. Your face will thank you. #LFMF
When staying in a hotel room with your brother, for the love of god, check who's knocking before opening the door. You might think it's your mom and try to be funny and make the NO face and answer, but it's really a housekeeper. A really shocked housekeeper. #LFMF
