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guy-tries-to-sue-del-taco-after-violent-case-of-food-poisoning
Via TMZ
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Maybe Chipotle fell through and this was the dude's next best bet? Who knows. But the details, however scarce, center on a 57-year-old customer who alleges that after eating a meal from Del Taco he fell violently ill, and threw up so much that it caused his esophagus to bleed after already being rushed to the ER and placed in the ICU.

I don't know man. From there he apparently fell into a coma for a few days, and racked up over $160k in medial bills. He's suing for at least half a million in damages, and Del Taco has since said that it'll violently fight the allegations.

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I wish that headline didn't have to exist, but just watch this video and you'll understand.

funny-news-fail-korea-roomba-hair
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Beware of the Roomba.

A woman in South Korea recently found herself battling one of the vacuum robots after it tried to eat her hair instead of cleaning the room.

From the report:

On the day of the accident, she turned on her robot vacuum as usual, and laid down flat on the floor to rest, leaving the robot to do its job. The robot vacuum came around her relaxing on the floor, and suddenly sucked her hair into its nozzle. The vacuum stopped running one to two minutes after the sudden hair intake.



It’s unclear why she would lay down on the floor next to the thing in the first place and not expect to have this happen.

She suffered only minor injuries and the emergency responders said the vacuum sensed her hair and thought it was dust.

Regardless, this doesn’t bode well for Japan’s new all-robot hotel.

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news-crazy-runaway-reindeer-nottingham
Via Mashable
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Hide yo kids, hide wives, hide yo husbands, and definitely hide yo grandmas. The only way we could make this very real life story of a reindeer running amok through the tea-soaked streets of a temporarily improper Nottingham, is if Arnold Shwarzznegger reprised his role from Jingle All The Way, to catch the runaway reindeer.

Somebody must've slipped something in Bjorn the reindeer's eggnog Sunday, because he went buckwild.

"I was putting some Christmas cards up in the window and just saw it come charging down the street," local resident Gemma Green told the Nottingham Post. "Then I saw a group of people following it.

"It was quite strange. It's like the scene from Arthur Christmas where Santa loses his reindeer. I thought I was seeing things at first." Maybe she was, but heck if that's a way to spur some Christmas spirit.

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Seals, the dogs of the sea, trained by Russian officials to be ruthlessly adorable soldiers of fortune. That said, it's pretty hard to look like ruthless military operative when you're this adorable:



There's also a precedence for trained animals in the Russian special forces. At least, according to the historically sound documentary video game Command and Conquer: Red Alert 2.



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poll finds that the onion is more credible than alex jones infowars
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If you need to get your news, you could do worse than The Onion, a new poll shows.

According to Morning Consult, “a media and technology company at the intersection of politics, policy, Wall Street, and business strategy,” the satirical newspaper The Onion, which recently ran the headline “Report: Bananas Still Most Popular Fruit For Pretending To Receive Phone Call” is more credible than Infowars, which recently ran the headline “The Shocking Proof That Multiculturalism Has Failed.” No surprise here: The Onion headline is true.

In a shocking upset to conspiracy theorists and screaming men around the globe, 18 percent of people polled considered The Onion (again, the paper put together for laughs) credible, while only 17 percent considered InfoWars credibe. Even more shocking is our new Chief Strategist to the White House Steve Bannon’s former stomping ground, Breitbart, is only considered 19 percent credible. People aren’t just finding white supremacy very helpful these days.

via Reddit

Of course, as the poll points out, this might be affected by the fact that people haven’t heard of Breitbart or Infowars.

“Credibility was significantly lower for far-right sites such as Breitbart and InfoWars, but both were also hampered by being largely unknown. Forty-two percent of people said they “never heard of” Breitbart, and 49 percent said the same about InfoWars. Twenty-six percent said Breitbart was not credible, while 21 percent said the same of InfoWars. Breitbart and InfoWars did better with Republican men, with 32 percent and 27 percent respectively saying the sites were credible.”

You’re still probably better off choosing The Onion. Check out this headline from the other day. Topical! 

via The Onion