Criminally Dumb Criminal

WARNING: Language in this video.

It's a story as old as time: Woman gets mad at bad parking job, woman stuffs banana in car's tailpipe, woman writes angry note then gets arrested for damaging said car. It's all pretty poetic, really.

Health insurance isn't easy in the United States, but this is something else entirely. Via Fox 8 Live:

…when the officer asked Diondre why she provided the hospital staff with the wrong name and information, Diondre pointed at her shirt and told the officer, "They must have gotten the name from this shirt." The shirt that Diondre was wearing was a memorial shirt for her deceased sister, Delores. Diondre Jones was booked with one count of Medicaid fraud and also had an outstanding attachment for failure to appear in court from a previous arrest.

If there has ever been a reasonable case for a plea of insanity, maybe it's this one.

Andrew Gilbertson is charged with robbing a Bank of America in October 2013 - which is perhaps the first bullet point in an insane person. I mean come on, there are SO many easier illegal ways to get money in 2015. While taking the stand this Wednesday, he reached into his pants to grab his own personal brand for a snack, as instructed to him by the Virgin Mary herself.

Unsurprisingly, the court was called into a recess, where a mental health expert was called in to analyze Gilbertson's behavior.

Here's a video report of the full story, which thankfully does not feature any actual footage of the "One Disturbed Man, One Cup" incident:

Hat tip to Uproxx.

From the Smoking Gun:

A trio of teenage burglars who stole cash, jewelry, electronics, and prescription drugs from a Missouri residence also thought they got away with a stash of c0caine they found in a wooden box, only to later discover that the powder was actually the cremated remains of the homeowner’s father, police report.

Upon determining that they were not, in fact, in possession of c0caine, the teens discarded the remains out the window of their getaway car. One of the burglars actually tasted the powder and realized it was not a controlled substance.