Criminally Dumb Criminal

If you read that headline and thought "I bet this happened in Florida," then congratulations! There's a milkshake for you in the fridge as a prize. Go ahead, check it! A choice quote from the story:

The deputies searched Mitchell and fount 23 grams of marijuana hidden under his fat. Police also found a handgun in the middle console and $7,000 in cash stuffed in a tube sock. The suspects tried to hide the smell of drugs with carpet freshener and scented dryer sheets, but that didn't work.

From NBC San Diego:

A drone carrying methamphetamine crashed in Mexico near the San Ysidro Port of Entry on Tuesday night.

The unmanned aircraft hauling more than 6 pounds of crystal meth in six packages fell from the sky into the parking lot of a supermarket in Tijuana just before 10 p.m., according to Vicente Calderon, a Tijuana-based freelance journalist for NBC 7. 

Is this Marvel's newest superhero?

A man in China was arrested this past weekend for trying to smuggle in 94 iPhones from Hong Kong where they are cheaper to purchase.

Customs officials were suspicious of the way he was walking, so they had him go through the metal detectors.

That's when they discovered $49,000 worth of Apple products (both iPhone 6 and iPhone 5S models) taped to his midsection in this makeshift suit of armor.

Crotch Siri is now scarred for life.

From Jezebel:

"I have drugs inside my v@gina," Crosby uttered spontaneously and then, when she was asked to remove them, she said "ouch." Again, that sounds really painful. The officer asked if she was okay and Crosby said "the foil is hurting the inside of my v@gina" before producing a foil-wrapped rock of crack c0caine which she had just been paid $100 for.