Criminally Dumb Criminal

From the Smoking Gun:

When questioned by police, Thompson said that he purchased the "Master Kush" Spice "from a black male for $15" at a downtown park, according to a police report. Thompson reportedly told cops that he did not know Spice was illegal in Florida, claiming that it was "still legal in New Hampshire," his home state.

Thompson, who said that he moved to Florida three weeks prior to his September 10 arrest, was charged with felony drug possession and trespassing, a misdemeanor. He is being held in the Pinellas County jail in lieu of $1500 bond.

From Arbroath:

An 82-year-old woman was arrested after she was caught trying to steal a bottle of “Sexiest Fantasies” body spray from a CVS pharmacy near her Georgia home, police report.

Anneliese Young, the accused octogenarian, was caught when a store worker spotted her placing the item inside her purse. Young then walked out of the Augusta business without paying for the $7.39 body spray, according to a police report. Young was confronted by a pharmacy employee outide the store on January 27.

Health insurance isn't easy in the United States, but this is something else entirely. Via Fox 8 Live:

…when the officer asked Diondre why she provided the hospital staff with the wrong name and information, Diondre pointed at her shirt and told the officer, "They must have gotten the name from this shirt." The shirt that Diondre was wearing was a memorial shirt for her deceased sister, Delores. Diondre Jones was booked with one count of Medicaid fraud and also had an outstanding attachment for failure to appear in court from a previous arrest.

From Jezebel:

"I have drugs inside my v@gina," Crosby uttered spontaneously and then, when she was asked to remove them, she said "ouch." Again, that sounds really painful. The officer asked if she was okay and Crosby said "the foil is hurting the inside of my v@gina" before producing a foil-wrapped rock of crack c0caine which she had just been paid $100 for.

Luckily no one was seriously injured in this incident!