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Tumblr: a magical website with the bizarre, the hilarious and the unexpected. Think you've seen it all? Think again. The best one-liners, random threads and weird thoughts are yet to be discovered.

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HAVE WE GOT A DEAL FOR YOU

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You're Not Fooling Anyone

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It Turns Out There ARE Playgrounds for Adults. With Booze!

A funny Tumblr post about a strange horticultural technique that flattens trees | biggest-gaudiest-patronuses Seguir recently learned about horticultural technique called Espalier s funniest goddamn thing ever seen.

Tumblr Thread: Strange Horticultural Technique Is Terraria IRL

thespacemaid if anyone would like to learn a couple tricks for carving pumpkins: - dont cut out the top to scoop out the seeds, cut out the bottom instead. this way the pumpkin doesnt cave in on itself and lasts longer - sprinkle some cinnamon inside at the top after carving. this way when you put the candle in it smells like pumpkin pie topsiders-tanlines this is the quality content I wanna see

Pro Tips For Spooky Season

Text - the-random-thought-caravan: apocalypse-aradia glorious-randomness: anderlynn I always think of Canada as the lovechild of England and France after they had a drunken one night stand and England just left it to grow up with its big brother America who was like the rebel of the family this is 100% definitely what happened. and canada wanted to be exactly like america but ended up being the nicer one who makes friends with everyone easily trudat 194,248 notes

Canada: America's Quiet, Cooler Sibling

Text - afternoonsnoozebutton dkf-4 Source: alekshdfilms thisgingerischronic alekshdfilms one time i forced my mom to play pokemon for at least half an hour and all she did was catch a butterfree and name it lowfat mom jokes> dad jokes 178,144 notes

Take That, Dad Jokes!

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Vesuvius Would be Pleased

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The Founding Fathers Can't Even With Our BS

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They're Lucky She Didn't Do the Same With The Tip

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A Rare Interview With a Psychotic Supernatural Killer

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You Almost Don't Have to Read the Words

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Stop That, Tree. Trees Don't Do That.

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First World Whining

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Humanity is Doomed if This is Real