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Make a list and never follow up on it. That's the way to procrastinate. Luckily you can just as easily procrastinate with a bunch of hilarious lists. Win-win.
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Grandchild spends months arranging to buy grandmother's garden, cousin suddenly changes his mind and claims it for himself: 'Why hasn't he done anything to acquire it before?'
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'It would otherwise be empty...' Homeowner discovers neighbor has been parking his SUV on his driveway while he's at work, so he installs a parking bollard and gets called 'passive aggressive'
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Former employee joins rival company and ends up in meeting with old bosses criticizing his work: 'The nervous little laughs were glorious'
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Diner leaves a dinner party early because the vegan lasagna didn’t fill him up: ‘There were no noodles, no cheese, and no sauce. It was basically layers of vegetables stacked together’
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Boss fires employee and goes on a 3-week cruise, leaving retirement community with no one to cover weekends: ‘We’re 3 people in my department - my boss, Brian, and me. My boss just fired Brian and left’
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