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Make a list and never follow up on it. That's the way to procrastinate. Luckily you can just as easily procrastinate with a bunch of hilarious lists. Win-win.
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Dad pulls 15-year-old daughter out of gymnastics against his wife's wishes in order to protect her when he discovers why she wants to leave the sport: 'She is a sophomore in High school and wants to stop competing'
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Job candidate logs onto Zoom interview early and overhears that an offer has already been made, proceeds to call them out: 'Hey guys, just so you know, I can hear you!'
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Company forces veteran employees to reapply for their roles at lower pay after a "restructure": 'Same job, same responsibilities. But [...] the posted salary is $8k less than what we're currently making'
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Mother-in-law gets even with entitled husband by refusing to do his laundry for 50 years: 'If someone else is doing your laundry for you, say "Thank you"'
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Grocery store manager treats employee like enemy #1 for no reason, so he secretly quits mid-shift and leaves her hanging: 'I didn't have to tolerate being talked to like that.'
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