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Make a list and never follow up on it. That's the way to procrastinate. Luckily you can just as easily procrastinate with a bunch of hilarious lists. Win-win.
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IT Helpdesk manager emails demanding staff arrive 15 minutes early to login and be ready to take calls "1 second before" their shift, staff comply and hang up on customers the second their shift ends: 'Sorry to interrupt you, my shift is over. Goodbye'
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A man is sent to a non-stop rumination loophole by his best friend for not telling him what he did to upset her: 'She refused to name anything specific I had said or done, and kept saying "It would be an argument"'
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Family brings tables, chairs, a cot, speakers, and a playground to a packed Toy Story 5 drive-in, then claims an entire parking spot is reserved for their kids: '[This place is for our kids to play]'
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Employee stops overworking as it hasn't brought any raises, workload increases for everybody else, boss notices how much he was doing when he stopped: 'He admitted I was doing work that should have been divided between at least two roles.'
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Call center operator obliged to start 15 minutes before his shift to load the company's archaic software, told to work until 4:00 PM on the dot, he complies, ending a call right at the end of his shift: 'I am following expectations and written directions'
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