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Make a list and never follow up on it. That's the way to procrastinate. Luckily you can just as easily procrastinate with a bunch of hilarious lists. Win-win.
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Parent of 6-year-old refuses to take her to classmate's birthday party after reading gift profile: 'I thought it was a joke at first, but it is 100% serious'
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Employee resigns, upper management fails to convince him to stay after refusing to relinquish in-person office requirement: 'They know very well I've been unhappy for 10 months'
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Cake decorator calls out employer, refuses to bring glitter or fondant to work: 'The store... expects [me] to use my own money to decorate a cake'
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Entitled neighbor repeatedly steals a private parking spot for 2+ hours, insisting the owner should be more "neighborly;" so the owner calls a tow truck: 'I'm done. You don't get to guilt trip me'
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Woman refuses to continue casual babysitting for her coworker's young daughter, after she turns up 4 hours late to fetch her because she went to happy hour with their other coworkers: 'Finally at 9:45pm Sandra shows up. I was furious'
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