We Are Dating

"Hey babe, did I tell you about my penis? Can I have your number? Thanks."

I need midgets forever, too, but that's because I run a circus.

Someone at the novelty goods factory has been watching too many episodes of Glee.

S/he must really enjoy that book s/he's reading.

Ever since Obama joined Tumblr, I'll bet he's been getting tons of crap like this.

Oh great, they're describing Bella Swan for the girls.

Hey baby, let's turn some water into wine and immaculately conceive while Al Green plays in the background.

My personal goal for the day is to slip the term "cavernous vag" into a conversation.

That trail of tears streaming down blueberry man's face are a rare glimpse into his lonely, broken soul.

The dummies are catching on...