We Are Dating

Butthurt Basement Dweller finessing the ladies? Must be close to Halloween.

I would do that every time if I were in a position to select and sell condoms to people. Especially to nervous-looking teenagers.

Or even better, do all that AND THEN unfriend them on Facebook. That'll show them.

There's more lovelorn (and just plain lorn) fashion at Poorly Dressed!

Sorry, but 90% of what magazines tell you about sex are spicy lies that are only good for selling more magazines.

Here's a rundown of my reaction to this post, sentence by sentence:

1. Oh it rhymes, that's cute.
2. Alrighty then, starting to get uncomfortable... years?
3. LOL delusional too. "Dude that girl I've been stalking is totally into me. She's so into me she stalks me too! Sometimes we stalk in circles!
4. HOLD the phone. Is he moving next door to her? And someone's already involved with this creep? 5-7. idontwanttoliveonthisplanetanymore.jpg

Don't treat your body like a Kleenex.

(It says "used up." Watermark ate it up a bit, whoopsourbad)

Except with bananas they might think you're suggesting oral sex, but with carrots they'll just think you're going to bite their thing off.

From an online dating profile picture.

They're just role-playing Genesis 19:5.