mom

Really? You pulled out the "you're beautiful" card just to get a slushee? "Beautiful" is what you say when you've dented the family car; when you want a slushee you say "those shoes are adorable, they look great on you!" Or something.

Siri's just trying to look out for you!

Drat, why does "Son" have to be so close to "Marriage Counselor" on my contacts list?

OMG MOM I H8 U

Y IS MY LIFE SO BAD

"But sweetie, your dad's nose isn't that long."

From the submitter:

This is what happens when I text my mom instead of my friend.

Whenever anyone says "it's me" via text, you can safely assume that he or she is over the age of 50 and has been texting for fewer than one year.

This is only a step away from your mom tying a picture of Chris Pine to her face whenever you sit down for a family dinner.