mom

I'm pretty sure that the combination of a hash tag and the word "swag" is an oxymoron. Not so swag.

What I'm saying is that you have a small penis.

So period sex feels amazing because it's embarrassing? What about the embarrassment of talking about period sex with your mom? Would that feel amazing, too?

Dat font.

No, it's clearly a Hershey's Kiss that wants to kiss you back.

This is only a step away from your mom tying a picture of Chris Pine to her face whenever you sit down for a family dinner.

...and what shows up whenever my ex calls: