facebook

Don't think he won't check your Facebook, either, if he already has your phone under surveillance. Now he'll read all your friends replying to that status with "CONDOLENCES BRO" and other such things.

It's when you start to talk about the weather that everyone knows they'll be pulling out their phones in 10 seconds.

That moment when you realize you're so attached to your phone that you assume that every call comes directly to you and not your actual phone.

The scary thing is, she's still posting from her iPhone...

The internet caught fire once the news of Instagram's sale to Facebook broke, and rightfully so. How will you sleep at night knowing that Mark Zuckerberg has access to all those pictures you took of your brunch?

When parents join Facebook, it's like getting bound and gagged with a suit and tie while your friends are all circling you in a conga line.

Well of COURSE it's "le friendzone." There's NO POSSIBLE WAY that:

1. The male is still in the early flirtation stages of the relationship and plans on making his advances in the near future, but is willing to invest a lot of time and energy into this early stage.
2. The male is a spineless wimp and hasn't made his emotional and/or physical attraction known, so the female has no knowledge of the male's desire to mate (similar to #1, except the early stage lasts indefinitely).
3. The male and the female are genuinely platonic friends and have little interest in a physical relationship.

Nope, neither of these three conditions are anywhere near the realm of possibility, and this army of parrots who think they're clever by beginning every word with "le" are absolutely correct.

If that's really him, I give him props for cycling au natural, and hope for his sake his scrotum has at least some form of protection.