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After the hipster ragestorm that ensued when Instagram became available for Android, more big news broke today, as a Facebook buyout was announced. Expect more hipsters to get really mad about this, and then get distracted when they develop the urge to photograph their turkey sandwich for lunch.

Well of COURSE it's "le friendzone." There's NO POSSIBLE WAY that:

1. The male is still in the early flirtation stages of the relationship and plans on making his advances in the near future, but is willing to invest a lot of time and energy into this early stage.
2. The male is a spineless wimp and hasn't made his emotional and/or physical attraction known, so the female has no knowledge of the male's desire to mate (similar to #1, except the early stage lasts indefinitely).
3. The male and the female are genuinely platonic friends and have little interest in a physical relationship.

Nope, neither of these three conditions are anywhere near the realm of possibility, and this army of parrots who think they're clever by beginning every word with "le" are absolutely correct.

My pager's STILL blowing up!

The internet caught fire once the news of Instagram's sale to Facebook broke, and rightfully so. How will you sleep at night knowing that Mark Zuckerberg has access to all those pictures you took of your brunch?

An hero moment indeed.

Fun fun fun fun fun fun fun.

It's tough being ambidextrous.

People on Facebook: either dogmatic theists or dogmatic atheists, with nothing in between.