From the submitter:

Bane of my existence constantly coming to my door because she is allergic to music.

Sadly, your relationship with your neighbor has just been taken to a whole different level of awkward.

Seriously. The only way my battery could leak that fast would be if it was bleeding from a bullet wound.

What I'm saying is that you have a small penis.

And then poof! You get Instagram.

Let me show you the telephone of my people!