So in this version, Luke gets his pinky toenail cut off, then Darth Vadar issues the revelation that "Luke, I am your distant cousin." It's called Star Scuffles.

Oh my god, that is NOT how you hold a baby. You have to support its head!

No. I do not want this. Please, let's go back to the taco party.

God I hate to see cupcake-on-cupcake violence. This is worse than the time Mrs. Butterworth got assaulted by the Pillsbury Dough Boy.

Have you ever considered cowgirling down? Just a thought.

Don't worry, there are always those jobs that require showing only the left side of your face. Like a toll taker . . . in England.

I don't think "sentimental" is the right word. "Grandmotherly," maybe. Or "zombie."