jimmy kimmel

Via: Jimmy Kimmel Live
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Everyone knows that the finale of the Oscars was pretty much a disaster, but still a pretty funny one, especially Warren Beatty's reaction to seeing the envelope and promptly throwing Faye Dunaway under the bus.

But why are you listening to me? Why not get the story from the host, Jimmy Kimmel.  

Via: Jimmy Kimmel Live
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Hey, hey, who am I?

You tweetin' at me? You tweetin' at me? I don't see anyone else here, so you must be tweeting' at me.

I'm Al Pacino. 

No, wait, shit. 

Ah, whatever. Are you tired of De Niro going on his weird anti-vaxing thing and shilling conspiracy theories to whatever idiot will listen? So are these tweeters, who are sending one of film's greatest actors a bunch of mean tweets. 

Look, you know what this is. Come for the mean tweets, stay for Bobby D telling them to suck his Bobby D. 

Via: Jimmy Kimmel Live
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What would a Jimmy Kimmel show be with "Mean Tweets"?

Well, here it is. Finally, prepare to have the wind taken out of your sails, Hollywood. 

Via: Jimmy Kimmel Live
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Jimmy Kimmel loves asking people on the street about their sex lives, as we all do. It's just fun to know who's getting laid and stuff because — oh, yeah — sex. 

You're not going to believe this, but on the day after Valentine's Day, well, people like to get, you know, intercoursed. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm talking about s-e-x, the physical act of love, people having it. 

So light some candles, eat an oyster, and pop open that bottle of merlot because random people on the street are saying whether or not they did "it" last night.

Sex. 


Via: Jimmy Kimmel Live
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What compels a man to wake up, carpe that diem, and proceed to shit away a boatload worth of sweet Benjamin's on a Cheeto? Well, my best bet is a pleasant mix of insanity meets sheer boredom, with a sizeable amount of mouthbreathing stupidity sprinkled on top for good measure. Or, or, it's no simple cheeto at all; but actually it's shaped like Harambe. Yep, that's it. I think that makes this all that much worse.

Via: Jimmy Kimmel Live
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Nothing like punching someone in the face and stealing their Cheetos.

This video is pure wish fulfillment for anyone who is just sick as shit of hearing the name Harambe. Imagine it: You burst into the office of a lawyer who wasted $100,000 on a artificially flavored snack chip, punch them in the face, and lick Cheetos dust from your finger tips. It's a dream come true.