(Watching show about El Chupacabra with my uncle.)
Narrator: Last sightings were seen in Texas...
Me: Texas, its always texas.
Me: Nasty creatures sucking the blood of farm animals.
Uncle: Probably their governor.
(After watching an ad against drunk driving)
Dad: Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly!
Mom: Yeah, that's a good lesson to teach your sixteen year old daughter.
Dad: It's true! Don't make me throw my coffee mug at you.
(Mom and I watching "The First Wives' Club")
Mom: You know, if your dad ever wanted to divorce me, I think I'd just murder him.
Me: What, why?
Mom: Because I'd rather be a widow than a first wife.
(This was a few years back while we were watching David Tennant on "Friday Night with Jonathan Ross")
Dad: If he can speak English properly, why dosen't he always do it?
Me: ... What? He is speaking proper English.
Dad: No he's not, he's got an accent. You can't speak proper English with an accent.
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