(I read my mother a messed up text where a kid's phone said that they 'blew' their teacher instead of 'drew' him.)
Me: I'm positive that there were kids I went to high school that were doing something other than homework to get better grades.
Mom: I never did that. For one, I refuse to compromise my morals and for another, I don't like that.
Mom: You probably didn't want to hear that, did you?
Me: No, not really.
Me: According to the lab I did, you and mom can't be homozygous dominant for ALU.
Dad: Baby, I ain't homo nothing.
(I had just received my acceptance letter to Duke.)
Dad: To be honest, I didn't expect you to finish high school.
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