The Vermont Teddy Bear Company is Selling a "50 Shades" Bear. We're Doomed as a Species.

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That image is completely 100% real. The Vermont Teddy Bear Company, long-time sellers of adorable bear products, is selling a Christian Grey teddy bear - apparently fully licensed. The parade of sadness continues on their official tumblr, which features forced memes of the bear making terrible sexual puns:



Why, you may ask? Because #brands, yo. Hashtag brands.

Body Mod of the Day: Guy Cuts Off Nose to Look Like Red Skull

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There are super fans, and then there are super crazy fans.

This Venezuelan man is one of the latter.

Henry Damon had his nose chipped off along with several other surgeries to make him look more like the villain Red Skull from Captain America.

"He has loved comic books since he was a kid and always dreamed of being Red Skull, but never got round to doing it," said one of his friends.

Damon now goes by the name "Red Skull" and in addition to the nose removal, he also had his eyeballs tattooed black, his face tattooed red and black and subdermal lumps added to his forehead.

His next step is to get silicone implants on the cheekbones, chin and cheeks and dye his entire face red.

Maybe he should have opted for the Chris Evans look instead.

This is KFC's Newest Monstrosity, a Chicken-Wrapped Hot Dog

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Because the Double Down burger (you know, the one with bacon and cheese sandwiched between two pieces of chicken) wasn't enough for us, KFC is now testing a similar concoction with a hot dog and chicken "bun." That substance on the top? Could be mustard, could be cheese, could be the liquefied excretion from a fallen dark god, who knows! Makes you hungry though, huh?

WTF of the Day: Nazi Cows Turned Into Sausages After Trying to Kill Farmer

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Once a Nazi cow, always a Nazi cow.

A british farmer named Derek Gow (not a Nazi) recently killed and ate some of his Nazi-bred cattle after discovering they were too violent towards him and his staff to keep around the farm.

He originally imported 13 of the rare "Heck" cattle, which were genetically modified beasts created for the Nazi regime by German zoologists Heinz and Lutz Heck back in the 1930s.

Adolf Hitler wanted to bring the legendary Auroch back to life, an aggressive beast with large horns that went extinct back in the 1600s.

The Nazi scientists combined Spanish fighting bulls with Highland cattle and several other breeds to produce the monsters, which were then used as propaganda.

Most of them were destroyed after the war, but some survived. Gow received his herd from Belgium in 2009, marking the first time the creatures have appeared in England in 4000 years.

The meat from the Nazi cows that were slaughtered will be sold to stores in Europe, says Gow. He tried sausages made from the animals and described it as "very tasty."