Survival of the Palest

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By nickgnarkill
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Oh god, that title wasn't meant to be racist, but now that we look back on it, it almost is. Please don't sue.

Spray Tan is Back!

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Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo, I've got a tanning pro-tip for you. Oompa Loompa, do-ba-da-dee, If you are wise you'll listen to me.

Having a tan means you've been in the sun, Not in a room with some paint and a gun. Why pay a fee when the sun's light is free? Look in a mirror. Can't you see? You look like a traffic cone.

Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-da, Stop with the skin-paint, orange retard. You will draw comparisons to All the Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-doo.