Finally, a Way to Make Sweet Love With the Ashes of Your Widow. WHAT?

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funny-dating-pic-urn-widow-ashes-toy
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It's called the "21 Grams," and our irony meter must be broken because it's impossible to tell if this is really sweet or somewhat unsettling. The kit features a scent sprayer, some digital speakers (to hear "their music" again), and a special glass urn that can hold your loved one's ashes.

You know, so you can put that urn in your sex parts and whatnot.

"21 Grams" appears to be more of an art piece and design prototype than a seallable product, but how would you feel if something like this was available to the public? 

There's Weirdo Sexy Fiction, Then There's "Invaded by the iWatch"

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funny-book-online-iwatch-sexy-story
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It's exactly what you think it is.

The 4000 word short story is about the "smartwatch prototype that mysteriously arrives at the door" of one Christie Aackerlund. Finally, someone who had the creative chutzpah to ask "how does a watch pork a real live human being?"

As the author lists on their Amazon page, however, the story is "only for super mature people who can handle it." 

This Totally Not-Fake Test Will Determine if You're Beautiful or Not

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fake,what,im so pretty you guys
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Supposedly, if you can place a finger from your nose to your chin and still touch your lips this is considered a ballpark estimation of being beautiful (by conventional standards). This study was performed by the Coalition of People With Way Too Much Time on Their Hands and Really Puckered Lips.