You're Drunk, and I'm a Phone

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You're Drunk, and I'm a Phone
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I don't have any opposable thumbs. Or hands. Don't be ridiculous.

Not Even Siri Can Handle Being a Wage Slave

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Not Even Siri Can Handle Being a Wage Slave
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Funny, the woman at Subway told me the same thing after I ordered my sandwich.

Don't You Mean Starship Mode?

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Don't You Mean Starship Mode?
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Sorry, Scotty's too busy to beam you up right now... autocowrecks - star trek scotty

Siri Is Calling You Forever Alone

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Siri Is Calling You Forever Alone
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Shut up, Siri! Five contacts isn't bad! And just because one of them is my Pizza Hut delivery driver doesn't mean he doesn't still count! sobs