What I'm saying is that I technically ejaculated onto your face.
Shhhh, bro. Don't fight it.
Not cool, dude. Not cool.
You took a screenshot using Instagram? Son, I am disappoint.
Bro: It's now a verb.
And usually i catch myself before I text something lame. Less so with speaking, which is why I somehow found myself blurting "The Puppy Bowl will be a total cat-tastrophe!" the other day. Dumb. Dogs aren't even cats.
Hitler really wanted to look good for his nonexistent Instagram followers.
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