Who has two thumbs and is drinking bottom shelf champagne? This guy!
Who maybe has four thumb-like... uhh... paw... things and isn't drinkin' s**t? This pooch!
If you read that headline and thought "I bet this happened in Florida," then congratulations! There's a milkshake for you in the fridge as a prize. Go ahead, check it! A choice quote from the story:
The deputies searched Mitchell and fount 23 grams of marijuana hidden under his fat. Police also found a handgun in the middle console and $7,000 in cash stuffed in a tube sock. The suspects tried to hide the smell of drugs with carpet freshener and scented dryer sheets, but that didn't work.