door

So should I try to get a handle or get a grip on why they fixed it like this?

That's whole grain wood too!

"Nope, I'm the Gatemaster, as you can see."

When you have this AAA fix!

"Dry here to open?" So it's some kind of moisture-activated locking mechanism, where dehydration makes said mechanism weigh less and rise, thereby releasing the lock and opening the door?

Unless... oh wait, I see what it says now. Never mind, carry on.

~Not-"Not-So-Handy-Andy" Jack

Someone had better paint on a doorknob in case there's a fire!

50/50 chance of me looking like an idiot...

More like "knit delicate."

This was the bedroom door in a basement apartment in a house that was for sale.