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Tumblr: a magical website with the bizarre, the hilarious and the unexpected. Think you've seen it all? Think again. The best one-liners, random threads and weird thoughts are yet to be discovered. 

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Tumblr thread about being ant god resulting in ant war | cerothenull S quinnred probablybadrpgideas If Cthulhu can be summoned by humans who are so far beneath why can't humans be summoned by ants answer is they should be. 20thcenturyvole Well if bunch ants formed circle my house l'd certainly notice, try figure out where they'd all come and possibly wreak destruction there. | weasowl 's why knowing and correctly pronouncing true name is so important ritual. Imagine impossible would be not go ta

Tumblr Turns Ant Thread Into A Holy War

Funny random tumblr memes | -am--fish everytime stay at hotel take bite out soap bar confuse cleaning staff damaramegido hey op real quick Actual fuck transselkie Hey op do realize by actually biting chunk fucking soap are fact one losing karo-chic y'all are just jealous op is brave enough monch on forbidden chocolate am--fish living dragon-hated-art does forbidden chocolate taste like -am--fish soap | neutraldankhotel eats 100 ears corn two hours am corn king cannot be outcorned eats 101 ears

Various Tumblr Gems to Keep the Day Moving

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A quick and informative Tumblr post on how to escape from a coffin | laufie escape after being buried alive coffin could happen anyone. People bury person alive scare them or get rid them this situation, rely only on yourself. 1. Do not waste oxygen classic coffin there's only enough oxygen about an hour, maybe two. Inhale deeply, exhale very slowly. Once inhaled do not swallow, or will start hyperventilate. Do not light up lighters or matches, they will waste oxygen. Using flashlight is allowed

Tumblr Post: Escaping From A Coffin If Buried Alive

A toy egg cracks, and then a weird monster baby thing pops out | Grow Babies Play Vistns Ages 5. Criçinal Size Amusing! Funnyi eNovel about week ago found this goodwill, one those "grow water" toys but there's no pictures might be inside besides awful baby clipart, and am insanely curious about whats actually egg 15 hour adventure starting now

Tumblr Thread: Grow-In-Water-Egg Cracks, Monster Pops Out

Tumblr thread on why Deer leave their fawns alone | fawn curled up beside fake deer which is used target practice | vampireapologist lot people are super upset by this, so here is reminder someone who has worked professionally with deer fawn tucked down alone like this is almost never an orphan. Fawns are extremely small, and their best defense is stay hidden as often as possible. Unless they are nursing or moving new spot, tucking themselves down grass or against bigger objects is their best de

Tumblr User Explains Why Lone Baby Deer Is Probably Fine

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A funny Tumblr thread about what it would look like if someone with ADHD could freeze time. | hey-look--squirrel Can have an ADHD character with ability freeze time because would be literally funniest and most epic thing like can imagine Need more time finish my assignment? Not worry time freeze oh no can't find my car keys and have be at work 2 minutes Time freeze*

Tumblr Thread: If An ADHD Character Could Freeze Time

A quick and educational Tumblr thread on the fully orbed owl | shiraglassman 's reminding do Duolingo practice demonladytakkuri real answer is really wants go away 's fledgling great horned owl, they're known being generally ballsy and aggressive, and owls have been known both climb trees and swim through still water pinch Most likely full scenario bird practicing flying, but fell because 's still kid and they do probably fell /by water then like Oh Damn Oh Jesus and decided not fact duck and he

Tumblr Thread: Fully Orbed Owls Are In Brawl Mode

A Tumblr thread about how the scientific language makes for ridiculous reports | if read frog paper "specimen released field immediately after capture" chances are very good actually means is dropped damn frog and despite fact fell all over each other no one could recapture "

Tumblr Thread: Absurd Realities Of The Scientific Language

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A quick and fun story about an aunt's wedding vows approach is actually true. | 98khj Fun family story my aunt marrying her wife everyone really excited but also dreading because my aunt is known her insanely long speeches so everyone knew her vows would be like 9 hours long so came time her say her vows she had shit ton cue cards her hands and even her wife started groaning and my aunt took deep inhale and then unravelled all cue cards which were taped together and they all just read "HOT DAMN

Quick Story About An Aunt's Wedding Vows

A quick Tumblr thread appreciates the different perspectives of blind and deaf people | just-shower-thoughts Blind people must save lot on electricity. stomatium They do actually! mauve-moth had blind professor, last semester, and swung through his office make up an exam while

Quick Tumblr Thread Appreciates Different Perspectives

Quick Tumblr thread calls out intellectual elitism | Criticize morgynleri by crea ever loving fuck is with "creative" writing professors who think speculative fiction any stripe ISN'T CREATIVE? thebibliosphere till remember my own creative writing teacher telling this because he saw Terry Pratchett book on my desk and got this smug smirk on his face like "aha, gotcha He had nerve pick up and call popularist fiction like somehow being popular and easily accessible made less inherent intellectual

Quick Tumblr Thread: Intellectual Elitism Gets Called Out

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A Tumblr thread describes all the wild medieval battle tactics. | Medieval castle stairs were often built ascend narrow, clockwise spirals so right- handed castle defenders could use their swords more easily. This design put those on way up at disadvantage (unless they were left-handed steps were also uneven give defenders advantage anticipating each step's size while attackers tripped over them. Source Source 2 Source

Tumblr Thread: Medieval Battle Tactics Were Wild

Funny moments and memes from Tumblr | Y REI tilthat TIL 23 crew aboard Christopher Columbus' ship "Santa Maria named "Juan via reddit.com krinkshame 's nearly three juan ratio recoil-operated son bitch purplespaladin Wouldn't be four juan? mens-rights-activia No, 3 Juan is correct because every 4 people, 3 are not Juan and one is Juan; 3:1 means there are 4 parts all together, 75%:25 s ratios work

Gems from the Churning Minds of Tumblr

A collection of funny moments from the world of Tumblr. | silentthevoice Petition change "he looked at her like she sun he looked at her like she moon" and any other variation bc look at moon wonder and love and amazement while only ever just squinted angrily at sun louisamayanniecat He looked at her like she sun he never looked at her except frustration. He basked her warmth, he complained she gone, but he never looked. On days she muted, he complained. On days she stronger, he hid her. He neve

Random Tumblr Rabbit Holes To Fill The Time

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Rude Chinese customer doesn't realize that the cashier speaks Mandarin Chinese as well | They didn't know speak Chinese too So white Caucasian female, but am fluent Mandarin Chinese and English. Now, looking at wouldn't know can speak Mandarin, which is why find absolutely hysterical mess with people they come through my line speaking Chinese, and understand every word their saying. My co workers find especially hysterical. Okay, so other day this Chinese couple came through my line, and asked t

Rude Chinese Customer Doesn't Know Cashier Speaks Mandarin Chinese

A Tumblr thread imagines an alien invasion being fought off by nature | giraffepoliceforce really want science fiction story where aliens come invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only be fought off by wildlife. They were expecting military resistance. They weren't counting on bears. splintercellconviction Imagine coming hostile alien world and being attacked by horde creatures can weigh up 3 tons, run at 30 km/h (19 mph and bite with force 8,100 newtons (1,800 lbf By time realise th

Tumblr Thread: Alien Invasion Fought Off By Wildlife