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Twitter Thread: Jeff Goldblum As Pop-Tarts

Yep, this is gold. Rachel Clayton created a masterpiece. It wouldn't be shocking if Jeff Goldblum saw this and got a kick out of it. He seems like a spontaneous dude with an appreciation for the random gems the internet can churn up. 

Twitter thread presents Jeff Goldblum as different kinds of Pop-Tarts | Rachel Clayton @rachelclayday humbly presented: jeff goldblum as poptarts thread) Pop. tarts Chocolate Fudge PEN1 PASIY toaster pastries Frosted
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Toddler Leaves Unwanted Artwork On Car, Detailer Restores Faith In Humanity

What a wonderfully wholesome turn of events. Sometimes human beings tap into the element of surprise, and put some welcomed goodness back into the universe. This appears to be one of those times. 

Toddler leaves unwanted graffiti on car | Cheers and Jeers Conversation Starter 2 hrs Cheers lovely artwork left on my car by cute little toddler next door. As much as l'd love keep think would have been better have drawn picture using markers and paper and would have proudly hung on my refrigerator. Unfortunately gonna have buff out her masterpiece, so cheers detailer who can buff out scratches and leave my car looking good as new! Write comment GIF
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Twitter Users Share Ways To Ruin Relationships

Things like eating all of your partner's snacks, or going hot and cold on the mood, or watching your guys' beloved show without them being around, are surefire ways to put the relationship in hot water. If you're in a relationship, maybe steer clear of these, and enjoy the benefits of more prolonged peace while dating. 

People on Twitter describe ways to ruin relationships | Girl @whoulooknat #HowToRuinARelationship so said him "fantasy football is fake" and never saw him again
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Twitter Thread: Opening A Wildly Corroded Can Of Chef Boyardee

Twitter user @DinosaurDracula left people with their jaws on the floor after opening a wildly corroded can of Chef Boyardee from 1995. The monstrous contents that resulted from the grand reveal did not disappoint. Well, didn't disappoint in that they're just about as cursed as cursed food comes.

A wildly corroded can of Chef Boyardee from 1995 gets opened | Dinosaur Dracula Opening wildly corroded can Spider-Man Pasta 1995 thread 1/5 DinosaurDracula New! Chef BOYARDEE PRESENTS MCS PIDER MAN NTA SHAPES ATBALLS OMATO
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Twitter Thread: Declassified CIA Documents Go Full "Stranger Things"

Stranger Things just went real life. Apparently that character Eleven, off the show "Stranger Things", isn't so far off the reality that these declassified CIA documents illustrate. And that would be a very strange reality, indeed. A reality where people can move things across the room using their mind, as long as they're in possession of a special instrument. Trippy. It's like a remote changing the TV, but you can treat the room around you like it's your living TV, or something. 

Declassified CIA documents appear to show Soviet paranormal experimentation | Emma Best (Mx. Yzptlk NatSecGeek NEW took four years but just got some newly declassified CIIA reports studying Soviet Union's use black magic telepathic mind control and "psychotronic generators devices they said turned people into psychics and let them move objects with their minds FOIA
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Twitter Thread: Guy Calls Out New Orleans Map

James L. Sutter shared a recent, hilarious Twitter thread about the fantastical oddity that is this map of New Orleans. Seriously, what is going on here? He addresses the blatant absurdity with some hilarious hot takes. Maybe, the truth is stranger than fiction. 

Guy on Twitter critiques the ridiculous New Orleans map | James L. Sutter @jameslsutter Holy cow-if like fantasy maps, spend some time looking at New Orleans IS EVEN GOING ON WITH THIS CITY If this came freelancer, there are half dozen things would raise my eyebrows. National Wildlife Ponchatoula 22) 607 Kiln Diamond 603 Madisonville Joyce Wildlife Management Area John C. Stennis Space Center Pearl River Mandeville Lacombe 190 12 Bay 607 90 Akers Wavelan Slidell 604 190 Pearlington Lakeshore
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Twitter Thread: Man Documents Invasion Of Goat Overlords

Andrew Stuart's viral Twitter thread on his town getting invaded by an army of goat overlords is just our kind of entertainment. The confusion, the excitement, the general absurdity of the fact that the goats don't appear to give a flying frick about anything, makes this a true gem of a story.

Guy's Twitter thread is about goats taking over a town | Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart 6d v think just got group goats Llandudno arrested. Let explain first saw this inside dark pub one live currently thought seeing things. So took some video:
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Twitter Thread: The Human Body's Evolutionary Leftovers

Awesome, our bodies are like natural history museums. Apparently, we're brimming with evolutionary leftovers, and Dorsa Amir mapped out a way to play around with some of these in a fun Twitter thread. 

Twitter thread maps out the human body's evolutionary leftovers | Dorsa Amir @DorsaAmir 1d Replying DorsaAmir Put hand flat on surface and touch pinky thumb. Do see raised band wrist there's vestigial muscle called palmaris longus used help move around trees. About 14 us don't even have this muscle anymore 2/8) present absent | Oh, and know sometimes get goosebumps cold or scared s vestigial reflex used raise body hair make appear bigger or trap an extra layer heat warmth. Some people can
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Fun Twitter Thread On Making Homemade Yeast

Local yeast geneticist, Sudeep Agarwala, picked up wind that people were encountering yeast shortages. So, like any awesome human being does, Agarwala decided to share a helpful and fun Twitter thread on how one goes about making homemade yeast. 

Fun Twitter thread explains how to make homemade yeast | Sudeep Agarwala @shoelaces3 Friends learned last night over Zoom drinks ya'll're baking so much there's shortage yeast local frumpy yeast geneticist have come here tell this: THERE IS NEVER SHORTAGE YEAST. Here's where viking. Instructions below. 6:16 AM 29 Mar 20 Twitter Web App 17.8K Retweets 73.7K Likes
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Husband And Wife Survive Lockdown By Slaying Lipsyncs

Comedians Rachel Parris and Marcus Brigstocke, have found a way to keep themselves entertained while keeping the rest of us entertained. Yes, these lip sync performances are magical. Can't wait to see what they come up with next. So far, so good. 

Husband and wife make the most out of lockdown by slaying lipsync performances | Marc 0000 s! @marcusbrig We're okay. We're fine. This is going okay. @rachelparris and I passing the time... ITI
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Woman Learns That Steak Is Beef

So, apparently she thought that steak was horse all this time. Interesting.

Woman learns that steak is beef after hilariously wrong assumption | Abena Darkoa @allADUiswin Y'all yesterday found out steak is beef and so embarrassed say animal thought steak all this time 9:29 PM 4/7/20 Twitter iPhone
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Security Guard At National Cowboy Museum Becomes Social Media Manager

Tim is bringing fire to the world of social media. Previously the Security Guard of the National Cowboy Museum, Tim was appointed the head of social media. What a gift for the rest of the world to enjoy. We love what you're doing, Tim. 

Security guard at the National Cowboy Museum learns to be the social media manager | NATIONALCOWBOYMUSEUM Posts 14,550 others nationalcowboymuseum Hello Friends, my name is Tim and am head security Cowboy have been asked take on additional duty social media management while museum is closed new social media but excited share am told is called "content" on all Cowboy's am told are "platforms" including Twitter Facebook, and Instagram. My team and will also continue protect and monitor museum and
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Hilarious Zoom Meeting Fails (22 Tweets)

Zoom meetings are inspiring all kinds of cringe and spontaneous fails. The realm of the Zoom meeting can be a tricky one to navigate. Not everyone understands how it works, and through that wonderful confusion, we get some comedy gems when attempts turned into failures. We're still not over that time that a boss turned herself into a potato during a meeting, and couldn't turn herself back. Now that is beautiful. 

A collection of funny tweets about people's zoom meetings that failed | em ily @emmycalef awkward zoom silences are worst because just gotta stare at everyone and wait someone feel pressure highlighted speaker box
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Twitter Debate: Captain America Or Optimus Prime As Most Inspirational

Ah, yes, people on Twitter have found another thing to butt heads over. This time, the stirring argument centers on whether Optimus Prime or Captain America was more inspirational. A fair share of folks express a mad passion for how Optimus Prime just got their blood boiling in the most intense of ways. One dude was ready to battle his TV after Optimus Prime said some words. That's real.

Twitter users debate whether Captain America or Optimus Prime was more inspirational | Idris Elbow @YalIAlILuvCris Who gave best speeches? Redd Herring @ReddHerring_ Replying YallAl|LuvCris Prime had ready slap box my Pontiac just case sleeper cell.
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Funny Random Tweets From The World

Nothing like some good old random, funny tweets that manage to speak to this strange existence we call our own. They're relatable, and might take that racing mind to recess for awhile. 

A collection of funny and random tweets | Mike Wells @mikewtfwells just had happy hour at my place s hour my fiancée left walk dog and had time play video games.
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