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Funny moments from Jurassic Park's Twitter account | Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK karen is here and she is demanding speak our manager are going tell her our manager is t. rex haha

Comedy Gold From Jurassic Park's Twitter Account

The screaming is totally fine.
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A collection of clever comebacks that just nailed it | There is guy front with Iraq veteran Plate frame so yell out my window thank YOU service. He yells back at thank paying taxes and putting through college. Not expecting hear.

Clever Comebacks From Spicy Silvertongues

Ouch indeed.
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An oblivious woman ignores a series of ominous signs at an open house | Olivia Cole @RantingOwl Sol may have done whitest thing imaginable today never thought would be this white woman. But here are. Join this story

Twitter Thread: Woman Ignores Ominous Signs At Open House

That basement door was bad news.
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A collection of moments that made us facepalm | Snee ee Thusds Jewant il Here is schedule hey think have wrong number Then is number because have 51 is my number Read 11:36 AM Ok then why did say have wrong number because not person trying text | Friend has been complaining about finding an avocado on his lawn every day weeks now. Why would someone keep throwing avocados his yard? Who would do guys he just realized he has an avocado tree 8:51 PM 8/22/19 Twitter iPhone 2,213 Retweets 22.9K Likes

Facepalm Moments From The Dimmest Bulbs

Silence is golden sometimes.
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Hilarious Twitter thread about a man's eucalyptus fail in the shower | Owner an Amulet @solomonmissouri bought some eucalyptus oil cause spiritual girls said would "help with intention"

Twitter Thread: Man's Eucalyptus Experience Results In Disaster

Help with "intention."
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A collection of clever comebacks that silenced their recipients | hcrld +21 Queue is just Q followed by 4 silent letters. v Robot_Spider +62 They aren't silent. They're waiting their turn. weallheartonedirection: Internet at its finest

Remarkable Retorts That Wrecked People

No coming back from these.
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A speech pathologist helps out autistic kid on flight | Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRRomeo just had such an affirming experience. On my 8hr intl flight back conference sat next father/son broken English father began apologize/ warn his ~10 yr-old son had severe nonverbal autism, and this would like be difficult journey. 1/

Twitter Thread: A Speech-Language Pathologist's Affirming Experience

What a touching story.
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Twitter thread about a little lizard eating gardeners' pill bugs and blueberries | Jessica Ellis O @baddestmamajama So had massive infestation pill bugs who ate our zucchini twice. So put out beer traps (they go drink beer, they fall Then mystery occurred 8:32 PM Apr 25, 2020 Twitter iPhone lessica Ellis Replying baddestmamajama put traps our veggie bed, dug into soil. They were fact catching ZILLION pill bugs. Literally FULL BRIM by morning baddestmamajama 20h And then traps started Move. 2 13

Twitter Thread: Devious Alligator Lizard Creates Havoc In Garden

Graham is the real MVP.
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A Twitter thread about sexism in the workplace | Why is only women who see sexism everywhere? Martin R. Schneider @Schneid 2d v Nicole and worked small employment service firm and one complaint always came our boss: She took too long work with clients. Martin R. Schneider @Schneid. 2d v As her supervisor considered this minor nuisance at best figured reason got things done faster having more experience 17 313 1,147 Martin R. Schneider @Schneid 2d v So one day l'm emailing client back- and-forth

Twitter Thread: Sexism In The Workplace

The worst.
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Funny Twitter thread about a man's surreal McDonald's visit | Josh Raby @JoshRaby 's 1AM and decided wanted milkshake. So there's McDonald's near my house greeted at drive thru by following sentence:

Twitter Thread: Man's McDonald's Trip Reads Like A Fever Dream

Never forget.
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A collection of funny Scottish tweets that don't make complete sense | hey duggee fangirl @PygmyLoris GIRLS years, my very glaswegian husband thought words were wean manger" and this will never stop being funny 9:59 PM 12/21/18 Twitter iPhone

Delightful Heap Of Scottish Tweets

Our favorite kind of tweets.
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Interesting Twitter thread on the history behind Cleopatra | Anne Thériault O. 05/02/2018 Cleopatra: looks like had twins Cleopatra named them after two great world leaders Mark Antony love too, babe Cleopatra: no mean after 200 Alexander Great and also O 29 271146 4 030 1 Anne Thériault O. 05/02/2018 Cleopatra: one them has middle name Sun and other one has middle name moon Mark Antony s bit Cleopatra: welcome Ancient Egypt Land Being Extra 27174 1 507 1

Twitter Thread: Fascinating History On Cleopatra

This was a lot of fun.
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A collection of entitled and choosing beggars | Replying Wendys and @McDonalds take lifetime supply spicy nuggs 2722 1,525 Wendy's O @Wendys 1d keep buying spicy nuggs rest life Q 34 27211 10.8K

Choosy Beggars And Other Greedy Creatures

Some people are insane.
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British cop measuring the road ends up getting roasted to oblivion | Cheshire West @Go_CheshireWest Further along road another potential problem has been reported. Darren inspects and explains as is under 50mm no action needs be taken at this time #cwaclive

British Cop Measuring Road Gets Roasted To Oblivion

You're not doing it right, my dude.
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A collection of tweets about working at McDonald's | McDonald's Crew Members @mcdsfam "Do y'all still have Big Macs do still have sandwich is basically named after restaurant chain? Yes do.

Trials And Tribulations Of Working At McDonald's

The struggle is real.
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A collection of funny tweets from husbands about navigating marriage | Simon Holland @simoncholland look my wife's eyes she left Target makes think she is going try and save economy one trip.

Funny Tweets From Husbands About Marriage

Marriage is an infamous rollercoaster.
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