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Dad Orders Box Of Crickets, Wrongly Assumes They're Sealed Off

This story about a dad who ordered a box of crickets for the family's pet lizard, never gets old. Apparently, dad assumed that the crickets arrived in a box, sealed off, and not susceptible to breaking free to get absolutely everywhere. Dad was very wrong. His assumption resulted in just the kind of chaos that folks can get a kick out of. I mean, at least the cats experienced a dreamy day of wonderful play. 

Dad orders box of crickets for pet lizard, and doesn't know they're not sealed off.
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Twitter Thread: Man Documents Invasion Of Goat Overlords

Andrew Stuart's viral Twitter thread on his town getting invaded by an army of goat overlords is just our kind of entertainment. The confusion, the excitement, the general absurdity of the fact that the goats don't appear to give a flying frick about anything, makes this a true gem of a story.

Guy's Twitter thread is about goats taking over a town.
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Landlord Threatens Guy With Eviction, He Goes Full Karen

When this guy found himself confronted by a landlord that was threatening him with an eviction, he decided to crack his knuckles, and go full Karen. The email he sent was art. Clearly, he was ready to capitalize on this opportunity to shade an inconsiderate, power-tripping landlord. 

Landlord threatens guy with an eviction, so he goes full Karen mode in his response | Jesse Case O @jessecase Ooooh my landlord just threatened evict if don't pay this next month pre- emptive weird threat after my check is already mail and evictions are suspended anyway about get Karen as fuck an e-mail. This will be full Karen. FULL. KAREN.
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Twitter Thread: The Human Body's Evolutionary Leftovers

Awesome, our bodies are like natural history museums. Apparently, we're brimming with evolutionary leftovers, and Dorsa Amir mapped out a way to play around with some of these in a fun Twitter thread. 

Twitter thread maps out the human body's evolutionary leftovers | Dorsa Amir @DorsaAmir 1d Replying DorsaAmir Put hand flat on surface and touch pinky thumb. Do see raised band wrist there's vestigial muscle called palmaris longus used help move around trees. About 14 us don't even have this muscle anymore 2/8) present absent | Oh, and know sometimes get goosebumps cold or scared s vestigial reflex used raise body hair make appear bigger or trap an extra layer heat warmth. Some people can
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Creative Insults Deserving Of Trophies For Their Savagery

Ah, yes, more creative insults from folks that thought outside the box of common, lazy banter, and instead delivered banter we haven't heard before. Some of these are so real that it hurts. As long as the comments section is around for various videos, people will continue to craft just the kind of creative insults that annihilate egos. 

A collection of creative insults that caught people off guard | KANYE WESTO @kanyewest Tweet Ed. Yeezy slides @Cripple_God Wouldn't wear these shits if they could make walk KANYE WEST o @kanyewest Yeezy slides | much is $2 chips? probably takes an hour and half watch 60 minutes
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Man Orders Boxes From Amazon, Fails Repeatedly Ensue

This guy's experience trying to have some empty boxes delivered ended up being a process of navigating multiple fails. Apparently, something was happening with the ordering/delivery process, where he ultimately ended up getting a ton of granola and Harry Potter coasters that he'd never asked for. Maybe not all robots are meant to rule the world. 

Man orders tons of empty boxes, and fails repeatedly ensue | dave meslin @meslin 1. Three weeks ago ordered box boxes PkgWholesalers, via @amazonca. Specifically ordered package 25 boxes, each 6x9x6: Packaging Wholesalers 9x6x6-Inch Shipping Boxes, 25-Count | delivery arrived at my door box Chocolate Sea Salt Granola packets. ith organie unth and chia. Awara 1trient dense ingredients SUGAR immune health Gree PROBIOTICS purely elizabeth. NET WT PROBIOTIC GRANOLA S ALTY-SWEET CRUNCHY CLUSTERS CHOC
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Choosing Beggars With Pockets Full Of Entitlement

These choosing beggars just keep it coming. Sometimes they end up getting what's coming to them. Anyways, as long as there's a price attached to something, there will be a choosing beggar around ready to complicate the process of smooth negotiations. The cost of trying to navigate selling something to a choosing beggar who entered the conversation with delusional expectations, ultimately ends up being a cost of someone's time (and maybe sanity). We're not sure when choosing beggars decide to wake up and be reasonable, but until then, these moments certainly showcase how absurd people can be when money is involved. 

People that tried to negotiate with obnoxious levels of entitlement | Chat with 2008 Yaris Sedan $4,000 l'll give 950 right now. No questions asked. Take or leave Every second wait on this offer drop price by $50 ball Is court Haha! So offer is already at zero? No still 950 Take or leave Nope l only had 20 seconds respond, shoot. Guess missed out. | lowest can do including shipping?x is lowest x Including shipping £3 x Girl shipping is £2.95. Don't be clown
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Seth Rogen Watches "Cats", Live Tweets Reactions

Seth Rogen decided to get baked and watch the infamously disorienting and genuinely bizarre film, "Cats." This was a recipe for a comedy goldmine. His humor and hilarious confusion make the following Twitter thread just our favorite kind of rollercoaster. If you're looking for more funny "Cats" content after this, check out some more random and hilarious observations about the movie, "Cats", over here.

Seth Rogen provides quick and funny takes on his experience watching the "Cats" movie | Seth Rogen @Sethrogen They made them go cat school. | Jason Derulos feet don't look like they're touching ground.
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Fun Twitter Thread On Making Homemade Yeast

Local yeast geneticist, Sudeep Agarwala, picked up wind that people were encountering yeast shortages. So, like any awesome human being does, Agarwala decided to share a helpful and fun Twitter thread on how one goes about making homemade yeast. 

Fun Twitter thread explains how to make homemade yeast | Sudeep Agarwala @shoelaces3 Friends learned last night over Zoom drinks ya'll're baking so much there's shortage yeast local frumpy yeast geneticist have come here tell this: THERE IS NEVER SHORTAGE YEAST. Here's where viking. Instructions below. 6:16 AM 29 Mar 20 Twitter Web App 17.8K Retweets 73.7K Likes
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Advice People Would Give To Their 18-Year-Old Selves

People on Twitter are sharing various tidbits of advice that they'd offer to their 18-year-old selves. It's amazing how much one's perspective changes through the passing of time, and how things once thought crucial, end up being looked upon as utterly absurd. 

People share advice that they'd give to their 18-year-old selves | Wade Murphy, AIF, CFS @TheWadeMurphy Replying IAmMarkManson 99 worries are pointless. Save money older has expensive taste.
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Funny Random Tweets Full Of Silliness

These funny random tweets can work wonders for awakening that laughter buried deep within. They're silly, strange, and ridiculous. 

A collection of silly and random tweets | tom @pilau Amazon package will be delivered on WNednesday IS
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Tumblr Thread On Bros Bonding Together To Use Brain Cells

This fun Tumblr thread highlights the ways that bros can bond together to accomplish seemingly simple tasks. By uniting brain cells and working together no mountain is too high for the bros to ascend. 

Tumblr thread on bros bonding together to use their brains | sandersstudies love genuinely innocent "boys will be boys Just saw guy come out frat house poke pair jeans they'd left outside they were frozen solid, and as soon as he confirmed like twenty more boys came rushing out house going "YOO00000000" rebelminds heard grunting outside my window other night and there were four boys struggling push this giant snowball (like 7 foot diameter) down sidewalk. snarling-through-our-smiles once lost my
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Guy Evades Speeding Ticket With Fart Spray

So, apparently this guy was in a hurry to get someplace special, and ended up getting caught up with a speeding ticket. He proceeded to try out a fart spray that he'd been gifted. The rest is history, and really one for the books. 

guy gets pulled over for speeding and uses fart spray as distraction | JJ @FiretheGm Soooo got pulled over this morning after leaving McDonald's.l already knew why he got speeding) but course gonna ask him why he stopped decided try my luck got fart spray as gag gift on xmas and decided try out.
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Conspiracy Thread Says The World Ended In 2012

Buckle up and brace the self for a wild ride down a rabbit hole that ultimately suggests the world ended in 2012. The dude makes some strange "connections" and at one point even brings up some kind of "time traveling experiment" that turned up strange results, with people not being able to time travel past 2012. 

Twitter thread and strange conspiracy theory suggests that the end of the world was in 2012 | tweet by nick hinton so did the world actually end in 2012? well it was the year scientists at cern finally found the higgs boson you know the particple stephen hawking predicted could destroy the universe or in his own words cause the universe to undergo a catastrophic vacuum decay
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Twitter Thread: Patrick Stewart And Ian McKellen In A Murder Mystery

This fun Twitter thread imagines a world where viewers get to enjoy Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen in a murder mystery show. It's a brilliant concept that would be so much fun if it were actually created. Maybe one day. 

Patrick Stewart Ian McKellen Murder Mystery | ML Brennan @BrennanML think l'd really like right now is cozy British village murder mystery show where Patrick Stewart and lan McKellen are elderly widower neighbors who bicker lot about their gardens, and also solve crimes. And there's super hot grandson who has drive them around | So lan will be all need prune this hedge back think looks fine, but keeps putting shoots up over on my side And Patrick gasps and is all COURSE explains knife got into
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Entitled Woman Begs For Cash App Handouts

This woman was taking to social media to issue a stream of entitled pleas, asking people to send her money on the Cash App. Eventually, another person had enough, and decided to call her out on all the nonsense. Sometimes, entitled individuals just need someone else to offer up the reality check moment. Maybe this reality check took effect. 

An entitled woman begs for Cash App handouts on social media | February 25 at 1:51 PM Please don't message if aren't willing pay my time and take dinner, send money, take shopping, get my nails done, and so XOXOXO on! Thank and 30 others 8 Comments Li ke Comment
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